Opinion

Band 4+: There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people think there is a lot of pressure on young people to succeed academically. Because of high competition in universities and the job market these people believe that non-academic subjects like outdoor activities or skills like cooking should be removed from the school courses. However, I would strongly disagree with this statement. Some of the reason for my disagreement is the following;

Firstly, I believe that If we remove non-academic subjects from the student syllabus it will make them unskillful meaning many students are not good at studies but they are good at other skills like cooking , football, cricket etc from which they can make a career out of.

Second reason for my disagreement is that Student will be a machine if they don’t have outdoor activities, which will affect them mental. For example if a students only study subjects like math, chemistry he will loss his creativity or skills like leadshipship, teamwork, critical thinking which can not only help him succeed in professional life but also personal life.

In simple words student must have non-academic subject as these will help in future.

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes:
Not Calculated

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 3

non-academic: 3

subjects: 3

skills: 3

student: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

4.5

The essay partially addresses the topic by presenting a clear opinion and providing some explanations and examples to support the ideas. However, the response could be improved by fully addressing all parts of the topic and providing more detailed and balanced arguments for both sides of the issue. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

3.5

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the organization of ideas could be improved for better coherence. Additionally, more cohesive devices and linking words could be used to connect ideas and improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

3.5

The essay uses mostly formal language and some accurate vocabulary. However, there are instances of repetition and the use of less common vocabulary could be improved. Additionally, more varied and precise vocabulary could enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4.5

The essay demonstrates some complex sentence structures and generally correct grammar and punctuation. However, there are some errors in sentence structure and word choice that affect the overall accuracy. More attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence variety would improve the score in this criterion.

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