Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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The image showcases employment numbers in five work types for 2001 and 2008: Sales 2001 is 140,000 vs 2008 is 160,000; Accounting 2001 is 80,000 vs 2008 is 60,000; Computing 2001 is 60,000 vs 2008 is 80,000; Nursing 2001 is 40,000 vs 2008 is 50,000; Farming 2001 is 20,000 vs 2008 is 40,000.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the number of employee working in different type of positions over 8 years in Australia.

Overall, it is evident that some type of occupations rose or fall steadily. The sales experienced a significant growth among the others. Moreover, It still reperesented the job with the most largest number of workers compared to the others. On the other hand, the farming depicted a slight decline with the lowest number of staff.

In 2001, The sales recorded a sharp increase number of laborers, starting from around 140,000 to 160,000 in 2008. Followed by the computing, it grew by 20,000 from 60,000 to 80,000. Moreover, It turned into the second work after the sales.

A similar pattern can be observed from then number that dropped. The accounting approximately dropped to 20,000 from 80,000 to 60,000. In contrast, the farming decreased by only 10,000 from 40,000 to 30,000 in total.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 5

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Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The overall trends are identified, but the details lack precision and some data is misinterpreted (e.g., farming). The structure is present, but the language and accuracy need improvement. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and using more precise language to describe changes and comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow could be improved. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt, and the paragraphing could be more effective in grouping related information. For instance, the overall trends could be more clearly linked to the specific data points discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. Consider using more cohesive devices to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for more precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit generic (e.g., "different type of positions," "significant growth"). Try to incorporate more specific and descriptive language to enhance the impact of your summary. For example, instead of 'significant growth,' you could specify 'a notable increase of X percent'. Also, ensure that the vocabulary is used accurately. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structure is generally simple, and while this aids in clarity to some extent, it also limits the expression of more complex relationships between data points. Focus on proofreading carefully for grammatical errors and experimenting with more varied sentence structures.

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