Bar Chart

Band 6+: The bar chart shows the rate of overweight males and females in Australia from 1980 to 2010

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The image presents a bar chart detailing percentages of overweight males and females in Australia from 1980 to 2010. Males: 1980 shows 40%, 1990 at 55%, 2000 with 70%, and 2010 at 60%. Females: 1980 indicates 30%, 1990 as 40%, 2000 reaching 50%, and 2010 marked at 45%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar chart below indicates information about the percentage of overweight boys and girls in Australia between 1980 and 2010. The x-axis represents the timeline and the y-axis shows the percentage. The values are measured by percentage.Overall, it can be seen that males experienced the highest result throughout the period, while females illustrated the lowest rate.

Initially, in 1980 males accounted for approximately 48% , while females stood at 18% lower than boys including 30% in general. In 1990 men increased to 52%, meanwhile women also went up dramatically by 10%.

After ten years, in 2000 males rose moderately to 70 percent, whereas females also continued its upward trend by growing to 50%. Finally, in 2010 number of overweight boys went down slightly by 2%, depicting 68 percentage, at the same time quantity of overweight girls did not face any changes and stayed the same with 50%.

Word Count: 148

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 3

overweight: 3

males: 3

females: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported. Some of the data is incorrect, and there are a few omissions. For example, the report states that in 1980 males accounted for approximately 48%, while the visual description indicates 40%. To improve, ensure that the data reported is accurate and that all key features of the graph are mentioned. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the flow could be improved. The organization into paragraphs is present, but the transitions between them could be smoother. Using more varied cohesive devices would enhance the readability. For example, instead of always starting sentences with time markers like 'In 1980,' consider using other phrases to connect ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some word choices are not entirely accurate (e.g., 'boys and girls' instead of 'males and females,' 'illustrated' is not the best word choice). Try to use more specific and sophisticated vocabulary related to trends and data description.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'Initially, in 1980 males accounted for approximately 48% , while females stood at 18% lower than boys including 30% in general' is awkward and contains inaccuracies. Pay closer attention to sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of prepositions. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the accuracy of your writing.

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Band 6+: The bar chart shows the rate of overweight males and females in Australia from 1980 to 2010

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The bar chart shows the rate of overweight males and females in Australia from 1980 to 2010

The bar chart shows the rate of overweight males and females in Australia from 1980 to 2010

The bar chart shows the rate of overweight males and females in Australia from 1980 to 2010

The bar chart shows the rate of overweight males and females in Australia from 1980 to 2010

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