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Band 7+: The maps below show the development of a town called Dorchester in Britain between 1996 and 2016

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Image for topic: The maps below show the development of a town called Dorchester in Britain between 1996 and 2016

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The image depicts two maps illustrating the changes in the town of Dorchester, Britain, from 1996 to 2016. In 1996, the town had residential housing, a lake, a river, forest, and a school. By 2016, the residential housing was replaced by apartment blocks, a train station, cinema, and shopping center were added, the forest was reduced, and parking was provided by the school.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The maps illustrate how the town of Dorchester in Britain has developed from 1996 to 2016. Overall, the town has undergone substantial transformation, particularly in terms of land use. The most notable changes include the removal of school facilities, the expansion of shopping centers, the replacement of natural land with cinema and train stations, and the conversion of residential housing to apartment blocks.

In 1996, Dorchester was largely centred around normal civilian activities. In the west part of the town, there was a lake surrounded by residential housing, alongside by road that connected to the forest. To the east, there was a medium shopping center and a school, and near the shopping center was a forest.

In 2016, the residential housing was converted into apartment blocks. Alongside with that, the former school was replaced into a parking area to make it easier for people to get to the expanded mall. Furthermore, the forest has been transformed into cinema and train station that connected to the railroad tracks built next to the apartment blocks

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 3

shopping: 3

residential: 3

housing: 3

apartment: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main changes in Dorchester between 1996 and 2016. However, there are some omissions and inaccuracies. For example, the lake and river are not mentioned in the description of the 2016 map. Also, the report states that the school was removed, but it was only converted into a parking area. To improve, ensure all key features and changes are accurately described and that no significant details are omitted.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and a logical progression of details. However, the transitions between some sentences and paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the flow. For example, in the second paragraph, adding a transition word or phrase at the beginning of the second sentence would improve coherence. Similarly, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be strengthened to better connect the changes described.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing changes in a town. However, there are instances where more precise or varied vocabulary could be used to enhance the description. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'transformed,' consider alternatives like 'converted,' 'redeveloped,' or 'altered' to add nuance. Also, using more specific terms for 'normal civilian activities' could improve the clarity and sophistication of the language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with generally accurate sentence structures. However, there are a few instances where grammatical errors or awkward phrasing occur. For example, 'alongside by road' should be corrected to 'alongside a road,' and 'replaced into a parking area' could be improved to 'replaced with a parking area.' Reviewing and correcting these minor errors would enhance the overall grammatical accuracy.

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