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Band 4+: Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe people should have the freedom to choose activities Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is view that goverments restricted extreme sports, like climbing skiing and skydiving. I partially subscribe to this idea and will explain why.

Admittedly, extreme sports leads to endangered moments like deadly disease or worth injuries. First and foremast, climbing is one of the most extreme type of sport and commonly knowledge is mountain is not straight never-ever involve different barriers and the highs and lows of the mountain. In the fact thousand of people fall from a mountain or get seriously injured during at this time. As well as skiing sports mainly used in winter season because of skiing demand combination of mountain and snowy area. Also to More snowboarders descend peak of the mountain and taken into accountant their different situation like turned around so they might be face deadly disease. Therefore, I believe that confined on those sports is essential if we are to maintain people’s lives.

With that said, i do not completely support the given point of view since governments need to consider a wide range of needs of individuals before carrying out any serious measures. if government ban these extreme sports number of injured people might be increase in hospital and healthcare costs funded through taxes will raise also number of born might be gradually decline respectively this affected to economics of government

In conclusion, the level of consequences from these dangerous sports can not only be bad for humans also related to government politics and economics.

Word Count: 243

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 6

mountain: 5

extreme: 4

skiing: 3

might: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views, but the development of ideas is not always clear, and some points are repetitive. The position is present but could be clearer. To improve, focus on developing each idea more fully with specific examples and explanations. Ensure that the connections between ideas are clear and logical. Also, pay attention to grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the arguments are difficult to follow. Paragraphing is weak, and transitions between ideas are abrupt. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent inaccuracies and inappropriate word choices. There is a reliance on basic vocabulary, and the language used is often imprecise and lacks sophistication. To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using more precise and varied language. Pay attention to collocations and use a thesaurus to find synonyms for common words. Practice using new vocabulary in context to ensure accurate and appropriate usage.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including errors in sentence structure, verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. These errors significantly impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the writing. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation rules. Seek feedback on your writing from a teacher or tutor, and use grammar-checking tools to identify and correct errors.

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