Pie Chart

Band 5+: Pie chart show the use of water in agriculture in 2004 and the value of product in Australis at the same year.

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Image for topic: Pie chart show the use of water in agriculture in 2004 and the value of product in Australis at the same year.

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The image contains two pie charts showing data from 2004. First chart titled "The percentage of water used for six products in 2004" details water use: vegetables 46%, fruits 28%, dairy 8%, cereal 12%, rice 3%, livestock 3%. Second chart titled "The percentage of total income from products in 2004" shows income distribution: vegetables 33%, fruits 42%, dairy 13%, cereal 8%, rice 1%, livestock 3%.

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Pie chart on the top illustrates amounts of water used to produce six products (livestock,rice,fruits,rice,vegetables,dairy and cereal) during the year 2004, in Australia while the bottom pie chart depicts percentages of income gained from that products in the same year, in the same country. Both piecharts d their amounts as percentage values.

Highest income was generated by fruit products (42%) eventhough the propotion of water used to produce them is 28%. Livestock rearing requires 3% of water and their returns also gives a same propotion (3%) of income out of total. It is similar for dairy sector as well, being 8% in both pie charts.

Vegetables give 33% of total icome, which is the second highest, but it is markedly lower as it takes a higher propotion of water(46%) to produce. Rice also uses a larger portion (3%) of water but in return generates only 1% of icome. Cereals as it uses water in the same amount(3%).

Overall, the best product with minimum water usage and highest returns is fruits.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 6

produce: 3

products: 3

income: 3

propotion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and provides some relevant comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report mentions that cereals use the same amount of water as rice and livestock, which is incorrect. To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and consider including more specific comparisons between the water usage and income generated by each product.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider grouping similar points together and using clearer transitions between ideas. For example, you could discuss the products in order of water usage or income generated. The introduction could be more concise, and the conclusion could offer a more insightful summary of the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to use more precise and varied language to describe the data. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'proportion,' consider alternatives like 'percentage,' 'share,' or 'ratio.' Also, be mindful of spelling errors, such as 'propotion' instead of 'proportion.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage. For example, 'pie chart on the top illustrates amounts' should be 'the pie chart illustrates the amount.' Also, be careful with sentence structure and avoid run-on sentences. Proofread carefully to catch these errors.

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