Multiple Graphs

Band 5+: The bar chart below shows the number of tourists in three nations who traveled to New Zealand in 1999 and 2009. The graph below shows the number of tourists who spent their holiday in two different ways. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the number of tourists in three nations who traveled to New Zealand in 1999 and 2009. The graph below shows the number of tourists who spent their holiday in two different ways. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image shows: 1) Tourists to New Zealand: UK tourists increased from ~1,200,000 in 1999 to ~1,600,000 in 2009, US tourists rose from ~850,000 in 1999 to ~1,400,000 in 2009, Japanese tourists increased from ~700,000 in 1999 to ~900,000 in 2009; 2) How tourists spent their holiday: staying at resorts data shows ~1,500,000 in 1999, peaking at ~2,500,000 in 2004, then declining to ~1,500,000 in 2009, while backpacking data shows a steady rise from ~500,000 in 1999 to ~1,250,000 in 2004, reaching ~1,500,000 in 2009.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart and graph illustrate the data of number of visitors from three different nations and two types of spending holidays at New Zealand from 1999 to 2009.

Overall, attendance to New Zealend from UK and US community significantly increased by 2009, however, the UK showed the highest number of tourists. While Japanese slightly dropped. The backpacking way of spent holidays was sharply went up over the decade, althought, staying at the resorts decreased and show similar results, as the backpacking.

Looking at the first chart of the tourists visiting in nations. The UK displayed only 1.000.000 of people in 1999, therefore, in 2009 had the leadest position of visiting with 1.600.000. The US showed the less results, around at 800.000 of individuals travelling in 1999 to about 1.500.000 of people by 2009. In contrast, Japan’s society had marginally fell from approximiantly at 1.500.000 in 1999 to over 1.000.000 of people.

Turning to the second chart of two types of spending time on holidays. At the begging of 1999, the staying at hotels was the most popular with around at 1.500.000 of people, therefore, backpacking had the lowest relsut less then 500.000. In 2004, the staying in resorts went up dramaticall to over then 2.500.000 of visitors, while the backpacking remain slightly increased accourding to 700.000. By 2009, the staying in hotels desreased to only 1.000.000 of people, while the backpacking illustrated the similar attendance of spending time on holidays.

Word Count: 241

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

holidays: 4

backpacking: 4

staying: 4

people: 4

chart: 3

spending: 3

while: 3

1000000: 3

1500000: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task by describing the main trends in both charts. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., Japanese tourists' figures are misstated, and the resort/backpacking numbers are not entirely accurate). Some information is also irrelevant or inappropriate, such as the claim that Japanese tourists slightly dropped when the data shows an increase. The report would benefit from more precise data selection and clearer comparisons. Additionally, there are spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'Zealend', 'leadest', 'begging', 'dramatical') that affect clarity. Focus on accurately reporting key figures and making direct comparisons between categories.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the flow is disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing (e.g., 'the backpacking way of spent holidays was sharply went up'). The use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or overused (e.g., 'therefore' used incorrectly). Paragraphing is attempted but could be more skillfully managed to improve logical progression. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words accurately and ensuring each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks range and sophistication. There are several errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'attendance to New Zealend', 'the leadest position', 'spent holidays', 'spending time on holidays'). Some attempts at paraphrasing are made, but they are not always successful. To improve, work on using more precise and varied vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'rose steadily', 'peaked at', 'experienced a decline') and ensure correct word forms and collocations. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('was sharply went up'), subject-verb agreement ('Japanese slightly dropped'), incorrect use of articles and prepositions ('around at 800.000'), and spelling mistakes ('Zealend', 'begging', 'dramaticall', 'desreased'). Sentence structures are often simple or incorrectly formed. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, particularly verb forms and tenses, and practice writing more complex sentences accurately.

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