Bar Chart

Band 4+: The bar chart below shows the percentage of male and female students studying four different subjects at a university in 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The bar chart below shows the percentage of male and female students studying four different subjects at a university in 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents a bar chart titled 'Percentage of Students at a University in 2020', showing gender distribution across four faculties. For Business, the student population was 47% Male and 35% Female. In Engineering, it was 49% Male and 25% Female. For Medicine, the percentages were 27% Male and 36% Female. In Arts, the distribution was 17% Male and 29% Female.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of female and male students who are studying engineering, science, business, arts, and languages at a university in the year 2020.

Overall, it can be observed that most female students like languages and arts subjects compared to engineering and science among male students. However, it is clear that both of them like business.

To begin with, languages and arts show the highest percentage of female students by around 70% and 80%, respectively, compared to around 30% and 20% for males, which are the least common subjects.

On the other hand, most of the male students joined science and engineering, reaching around 80% and 60%, respectively. However, the same proportion of both genders chooses business, which accounts for 50%

Word Count: 124

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

students: 5

female: 3

engineering: 3

science: 3

languages: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but suffers from significant discrepancies between the data provided in the visual description and the data reported in the text. While the structure is appropriate, the inclusion of subjects not mentioned in the visual description (science, languages) and the use of highly inaccurate figures (e.g., reporting 70-80% for certain categories when the data suggests much lower values) detracts from the task achievement. To improve, ensure that all reported statistics strictly align with the provided data and focus only on the categories presented in the chart. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The use of cohesive devices like 'To begin with' and 'On the other hand' is appropriate, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be smoother. To improve, ensure that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one and avoid abrupt transitions between comparing genders and comparing subjects.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but quite basic and repetitive (e.g., using 'like' and 'chooses' to describe statistical data). In academic writing, it is better to use more precise verbs such as 'enrolled in', 'opted for', 'represented', or 'accounted for'. Additionally, there is a lack of variety in describing proportions. Try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms for 'percentage' and 'students' to demonstrate a wider lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable issues with accuracy and phrasing. For example, the phrase 'most female students like languages' is too informal for an academic report; 'a higher proportion of female students were enrolled in...' would be more appropriate. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and the way comparative structures are constructed. Aim for more precision in your grammatical constructions, especially when making comparisons between two groups.

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