Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart below gives information about how families in one country spend their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives information about how families in one country spend their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts average weekly spending by families in 1968 and 2018 as a percentage of weekly income. In 1968, food accounted for 35%, housing 10%, fuel and power approximately 7%, clothing and footwear around 10%, household goods 8%, personal goods around 7%, transport just under 10%, and leisure approximately 9%. In 2018, spending on food dropped to approximately 17%, housing increased to about 18%, fuel and power decreased to approximately 4%, clothing and footwear reduced to around 5%, household goods rose slightly to about 9%, personal goods decreased to around 4%, transport grew to roughly 14%, and leisure increased significantly to 22%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The picture below compares average weekly spending by families between 1968 and 2018.

Overall,the food consumption always requires a significant amount of money,especially in 2018,while fuel and power were the cheapest need for families.In addition,household goods are spent the same outlay through the period.

In 1968,the food ranked 1st place in terms of expenses,demanding 35% of weekly income,whereas fuel and power required only 6%.A housing,clothing and footware spent 10% in each.Furthermore,household goods,personal goods, and transport experienced the similar situation,spending 7% in each category,the leisure spendings required approximately 8% of all weekly income.

In 2018,the leisure was the most demanding facilites for family,spending on average 22%,a housing took around 16% of weekly income.However,expenses for transportation increased comparing with 1968 year,a food required only 17%.Although,spendings for household goods needed 7%,others conveniences occupird a 5 or lower percentage.

Word Count: 135

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

weekly: 4

goods: 3

required: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by attempting to compare the two years and identifying some trends. However, there are significant inaccuracies in the data interpretation that affect the clarity of the report. For example, the overview states that food required a significant amount of money especially in 2018, whereas the data shows food spending actually decreased significantly by that year. Additionally, some comparisons are contradictory or mathematically unclear. To improve, focus on accurately reflecting the trends shown in the data (e.g., noting the sharp decline in food spending and the sharp rise in leisure spending) and ensure that the relationship between the categories is described logically. Work on grammatical accuracy and the use of appropriate vocabulary for describing trends and proportions. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, following a chronological order. However, the cohesion is significantly hindered by improper use of transition words and punctuation. For example, 'Although' is used incorrectly as a standalone transition, and there is a lack of spacing after commas, which disrupts the reading flow. To improve, ensure that every sentence is properly separated by spaces and that cohesive devices (like 'In contrast' or 'Moreover') are used to link ideas rather than just listing facts.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is often repetitive or used incorrectly in context. Phrases such as 'the food ranked 1st place', 'demanding 35%', and 'most demanding facilites' are unnatural in an academic report. There are also several spelling errors (e.g., 'footware', 'occupird'). Instead of using 'demanding' or 'required' to describe percentages, try using more standard academic verbs such as 'accounted for', 'comprised', 'represented', or 'constituted'. Aim for more precise nouns to describe categories.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and often impede communication. There are issues with article usage (e.g., 'the food', 'a housing'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or contain run-on structures. For instance, 'A housing, clothing and footware spent 10% in each' is grammatically incorrect because categories cannot 'spend' money; rather, money is spent 'on' them. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and the correct use of articles and prepositions before attempting complex sentences.

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