Bar Chart

Band 6+: The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985, with future predictions for 2035. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below gives information about the UK's ageing population in 1985, with future predictions for 2035. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features a vertical bar chart titled "Percentage of population aged 65 and over", with the vertical axis displaying percentages ranging from 0% to 30% in increments of 5%, comparing data between 1985 and 2035 across five geographical categories on the horizontal axis: England, Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland, and UK. For England, the percentage is 15% in 1985 and 23% in 2035. For Wales, the percentage is 16% in 1985 and 26% in 2035. For Scotland, the percentage is 14% in 1985 and 25% in 2035. For Northern Ireland, the percentage is 12% in 1985 and 23% in 2035. For the UK, the percentage is 15% in 1985 and 23% in 2035.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart compares elderly populace aged 65 and over in 4 UK nations and in overall UK in 1985, with projections for 5 decade later. Units of measure is percentage.

Overall, it can be seen that the number of elderly population are expected to grew in all 5 countries after 50 years. Wales is the nation with most percentage of elderly population at the outset of period compared to other countries, and is expected to be the most popular for elderly people in 2035 too.

The older population aged 65 and over accounted for 15% of England’s populace in 1985, and it is predicted that this proportion will increase to 23% by 2035. Wales, the most popular country among older people, consisted of 16% of older people and this number is predicted increase by 10% after 5 decade. Scotland’s elderly populace has accounted for 14% at the outset of period and is predicted to account for quarter of population in 2035.

Northern Ireland’s older populace aged 65 and over accounted for 12% of whole nation and was the least popular among that age group in 1985, however, is predicted to significantly incease and reach 24% in 2025. This is a massive 2-fold increase. Overall Uk’s populace consisted of 15% oldest age group and is predicted to increase to 24% in 2035.

Word Count: 222

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

elderly: 5

populace: 5

predicted: 5

population: 4

older: 4

increase: 4

popular: 3

people: 3

accounted: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main trends and making comparisons. It correctly identifies that the proportion of elderly population is expected to increase in all regions. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions: the data for Northern Ireland in 2035 is stated as 24% instead of 23%, and the UK figure is also given as 24% instead of 23%. Additionally, the phrase '5 decade later' is imprecise; it should be '50 years later' or 'in 2035'. The report could be improved by ensuring all data points are accurate and by using more precise language. Overall, the response covers the requirements but with some lapses.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, there are some lapses in coherence, such as the abrupt shift from discussing Scotland to Northern Ireland without clear linking. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward (e.g., 'at the outset of period' and 'after 5 decade'), which can distract the reader. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear set of data and use a range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly', 'while') to smoothly connect ideas. Also, avoid repeating the same phrases and ensure that the progression of information is logical and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary related to data description (e.g., 'accounted for', 'predicted to increase', 'proportion'). However, there are several lexical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'elderly populace' (should be 'elderly population'), 'most popular for elderly people' (should be 'highest proportion of elderly people'), and '2-fold increase' (should be 'twofold increase' or 'double'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some terms are repeated (e.g., 'populace' used multiple times). To improve, use a wider variety of synonyms (e.g., 'percentage', 'figure', 'share') and ensure precise word choice. Also, avoid informal or incorrect expressions like 'massive' in academic writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. For example, 'the number of elderly population are expected to grew' should be 'the number of elderly people is expected to grow' (subject-verb agreement and verb form). Also, 'Units of measure is percentage' should be 'The unit of measurement is percentage' (singular/plural agreement). There are issues with articles and prepositions, such as 'at the outset of period' (should be 'at the outset of the period') and 'after 5 decade' (should be 'after five decades'). The sentence 'Wales, the most popular country among older people, consisted of 16% of older people' is redundant and awkward. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb tenses, and proper use of articles and prepositions. Additionally, vary sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical range, and proofread to eliminate errors.

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