Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spend chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spend chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image contains a bar graph with "Chatting on the internet" and "Playing on games console" as categories; each category is divided into "Boys," "Girls," and "All." Under "Chatting on the internet," Boys: 4 hrs plus (30%), 1 to 3 Hours (40%), Less than an hour (30%); Girls: 4 hrs plus (10%), 1 to 3 Hours (30%), Less than an hour (60%); All: 4 hrs plus (20%), 1 to 3 Hours (35%), Less than an hour (45%). Under "Playing on games console," Boys: 4 hrs plus (25%), 1 to 3 Hours (75%), Less than an hour (0%); Girls: 4 hrs plus (5%), 1 to 3 Hours (20%), Less than an hour (75%); All: 4 hrs plus (15%), 1 to 3 Hours (50%), Less than an hour (35%). Horizontal axis labeled with categories and subcategories, vertical axis labeled "Percentages" with horizontal grid lines at intervals of 10 up to 90.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The bar chart illustrates the number of time that 10 to 15-years-olds waste chatting on the social media and online games consoles on an average academy in the UK.

Overall, while both gender in playing games console dominating in spending much time, chatting on the internet showed the lowest percentage comparing to his neighbour.

Focusing on the first figure for boys which stood at approximately 55%. They spent less an hour by around 25%, meanwhile its counterparts showed 50%. Male gendershared 53% who allocated 4hours plus time to chat on the internet. While girls proportion experienced experienced a significant growth which was 20% more than the boys’ percentage. At the same time, both gender spent more hour then the gender of men which showed 62% at the end of the day.

Turning to the chart for boys which amounted to roughly 85%. They passed under an hour nearly 30%, whenever corresponding figure illustrated 73%. Male individuals represented 85% who devoted 4hours plus time to playing video games when girls percentage indicated 52%. Simultaneously, boys and girls allocated more hour then the female gender which illustrated 68% in the end.

Word Count: 189

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 5

gender: 4

games: 3

showed: 3

percentage: 3

girls: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by discussing the two activities and comparing genders, but it contains significant inaccuracies and unclear descriptions that detract from the overall achievement. The data presented does not match the visual description, and the language is often confusing or incorrect (e.g., 'waste chatting,' 'academy' instead of 'school day,' 'his neighbour'). To improve, focus on accurately summarizing the main trends and key data points, using clear and precise language. Avoid subjective terms like 'waste' and ensure comparisons are logically structured and based on the given percentages.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to present data but lacks a clear and logical structure. The message is difficult to follow due to unclear referencing (e.g., 'his neighbour', 'its counterparts') and inconsistent comparisons. Paragraphing is not effectively managed, and the flow between ideas is disjointed. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph, ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect (e.g., one for chatting, one for gaming), and use cohesive devices like 'in contrast', 'similarly', or 'overall' to link ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and often inappropriate for the task (e.g., 'waste', 'academy', 'gender of men'). There is repetition of basic words like 'figure', 'percentage', and 'gender'. The report lacks the range and precision needed for a data description. To improve, learn and use specific terms for describing data (e.g., 'proportion', 'category', 'spent time', 'duration'), and avoid informal or judgmental language. Practice using synonyms and more sophisticated expressions naturally.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'both gender in playing games console dominating'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'experienced experienced'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'spent more hour then the gender of men'). Punctuation is inconsistent. To improve, focus on basic sentence structure, ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread for repeated words. Practice using a variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with relative clauses, to enhance clarity and accuracy.

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