Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart below shows the favourite leisure activities among girls and boys

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The image presents a bar graph detailing percentages of favorite leisure activities among Canadian teenagers, split by gender: Sports are favored by 30% of boys and 15% of girls, Computer Games by 25% of boys and 15% of girls, Music by 20% of both boys and girls, and Shopping is the choice of 35% of girls and 5% of boys.

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The bar chart illustrates the percnetage of favourite leisure activities of boys and girls in canada in a particular year.

It is clear that, Boys are the highest percntage of leisure activities spend on shopping in a particular year in canada. by the contrast , girls are spend less portion of time on shopping in a particular year in canada.

Looking at the bar chart for more detail, Boys are spend most percnentage of their time on shopping then the girls in a particular year, at more than 30% and more than 5%, respectively, similarly,Boys and girls are spent their time on music at around 20% , which is similar in a particular year in canada.

For the remaining catagories, girls are spent their time on shopping at , 5%, which is the lowest percentage of a particular year in canada.

boys spending their time on sports at 25% which is almost double than the girls, at 10% in a particular year in canada.

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

particular: 7

girls: 6

shopping: 4

their: 4

canada: 3

spend: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. For instance, it incorrectly states that boys spend the highest percentage on shopping, whereas the data shows shopping is most popular among girls (35%) and least among boys (5%). Additionally, the figures for sports are misreported (boys at 25% instead of 30%, girls at 10% instead of 15%). The report also omits the category of computer games entirely. To improve, ensure you accurately interpret the main trends and include all categories. Organize the information logically, perhaps by comparing the most and least popular activities, and use precise data from the chart. Proofread for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and repetitive phrasing. The main trends are not clearly presented, and the comparison between boys and girls is confusing. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Also, use cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly') more effectively to link ideas and avoid repetition.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent misuse of words (e.g., 'percnentage', 'spend' instead of 'spent'). There is some attempt to use synonyms (e.g., 'favourite', 'leisure activities'), but the range is narrow. To improve, expand your vocabulary for describing data (e.g., 'proportion', 'majority', 'minority', 'significant difference') and use precise terms. Also, avoid informal phrases like 'by the contrast' and use more formal alternatives.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'are spend', 'are spent'), subject-verb agreement issues, and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent (e.g., missing commas after introductory phrases). To improve, practice using correct past tense forms for describing data, ensure subject-verb agreement, and use articles (a, an, the) appropriately. Additionally, vary sentence structures to include complex sentences, but ensure they are grammatically correct.

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Band 4+: The chart below shows the favourite leisure activities among girls and boys

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The chart below shows the favourite leisure activities among girls and boys

The chart below shows the favourite leisure activities among girls and boys

The chart below shows the favourite leisure activities among girls and boys

The chart below shows the favourite leisure activities among girls and boys

Other Topics:

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The bar chart shows the number of cars per 1000 people in 5 countries in Europe in 2005, 2009 and 2015 compared with the European average.

the percentage contribution of the IT and service industries to the GDP

The bar chart gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to the charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2000.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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