Bar Chart

Band 4+: The chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive in three regions of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive in three regions of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a bar chart titled "Causes of Worldwide Land Degradation," showing the percentage of degraded land by cause for North America, Europe, and Oceania. For the cause of Over-grazing, the percentages are: North America 1.5%, Europe 5.5%, and Oceania 11.3%. For Deforestation, North America is 0.2%, Europe is 9.8%, and Oceania is 1.7%. For Over-cultivation, North America is 3.3% and Europe is 7.7%. For the "Other" cause category, North America is 0.2% and Europe is 7.1%. Oceania has no recorded percentage for Over-cultivation or Other.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The chart illustrated the importance causes of agriculture’s field becoming less productive in three provinces.

In overall, all three districts were declining, while Oceania has the highest land, which followed by Europe. Moreover, North America has the lowest land degradation.

To begin with, we can visible that local area and causes, which is over- grazing, deforestation, and over- cultivation, which show percentage of degraded land. Firstly, on over-grazing, Ocean has the highest percentage of land, which is above 10%. Secondly, Europe had around 5% land. Moreover, North America has around 2% of land in over-grazing cause.

On the other hand, Ocean was steadily decrease on deforestation cause, which is around 2 percentage Plus, europe was climbing rapidly and reach around 9 percentage of land. Moreover, North America was fall around 0.5 percentage, which is lowest percentage of land. In additional, in over -cultivated, North America was growing a lot and end on around 3 percentage of land, while,oceans did not visible in overall cultivating causes. Plus, Europe was fall around 8 percentage.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 8

around: 7

which: 6

europe: 4

north: 4

america: 4

causes: 3

moreover: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by describing the main causes of land degradation in the three regions, but it contains several inaccuracies and omissions. For example, it incorrectly states that Oceania has the highest land degradation overall, whereas Europe has the highest total percentage. It also omits the 'Other' category and misreports some data (e.g., North America's over-grazing is stated as around 2% instead of 1.5%, and Europe's over-cultivation is described as 'fall' when it is 7.7%). The report lacks clear comparisons between regions and causes, and the language is often unclear or informal (e.g., 'we can visible', 'climbing rapidly', 'fall around'). To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data, making explicit comparisons, and using more precise and formal academic language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report attempts to organize information by cause and region, but the flow is often disrupted by unclear references and abrupt transitions. The opening paragraph lacks a clear overview, and the body paragraphs mix data without a logical progression. Cohesive devices are used inconsistently (e.g., 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', 'Plus'), and some sentences are incomplete or confusing. To improve, structure the report with a clear introduction, an overview paragraph highlighting key trends, and body paragraphs that group data by cause or region, using clear linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a central focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with some imprecise word choices (e.g., 'importance causes', 'provinces' instead of 'regions', 'local area', 'visible'). There is an attempt to use synonyms (e.g., 'districts', 'regions'), but the range is narrow. Some phrases are awkward or incorrect (e.g., 'which followed by', 'climbing rapidly', 'fall around'). To improve, use a wider range of precise vocabulary related to data description (e.g., 'account for', 'constitute', 'significant proportion', 'notably higher'), and avoid informal or vague terms. Also, ensure correct word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb forms, and missing articles. Sentence structures are often repetitive and sometimes incomplete. For example, 'The chart illustrated' should be 'The chart illustrates', 'we can visible' should be 'we can see', and 'Ocean' should be 'Oceania'. There are also punctuation errors (e.g., missing commas, incorrect spacing). To improve, practice using a variety of sentence structures (simple, compound, complex) and ensure accuracy in tense, agreement, and punctuation. Reviewing common grammar rules and proofreading the report can help reduce errors.

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