Pie Chart

Band 5+: The charts below compare the difference in sales for retails between four sectors.

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The image displays two pie charts titled 'Online sales for retail sectors in Canada' for the years 2005 and 2010. In 2005, the distribution of online sales was Electronics & Appliance at 35%, Home Furnishings at 25%, Food & Beverage at 22%, and Video Games at 18%. For the year 2010, the proportions were Electronics & Appliance at 30%, Food & Beverage at 32%, Video Games at 23%, and Home Furnishings at 15%.

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The pie chart illustrates the online sales of different types of products in Canada from 2005 to 2010.

In 2005, the pie chart shows that the sales of electronics and appliance was 35% out of 100%. food and beverage products sale was at 22% which means it was lower then then the electronic devises. Home furnitures were being also saled in online and the sale was at 25% that means it was higher then the food and beverage products sales.Video games were also being play at that time and the sale of video games was 18%.So by gathering all of the informations about the sales of different types of products we can see that the electronic devises sales was at the peak that time and the sales of video games was at the bottom.

In 2010, the pie chart shows that food and beverage was at the peak that time which is 32% out of 100%. secondly there was electornics and appliance which was 30%.The third position went to video games which was 23% and was increased a lot from before.At last it was home furnishing which was 15%.

As we can see the rate of food and beverage was increased by 10%,the electronics and appliance was decreased by 5%, the video games was increased by 5% and lastly the home furnishing was decreased by 10%.

Word Count: 226

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 5

which: 5

games: 5

products: 4

beverage: 4

video: 4

chart: 3

appliance: 3

increased: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main features of the pie charts, providing relevant information about the changes in online sales across different sectors between 2005 and 2010. However, the writing could be more concise and organized. To improve, focus on structuring the information more effectively, perhaps by grouping similar trends together or using comparative language more explicitly. Also, ensure that all percentage changes are accurate and clearly presented.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is somewhat organized, but the lack of clear paragraphing and transitions between ideas makes it difficult to follow. The writing could benefit from more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs, improving the overall flow and clarity. For example, using transition words like 'However,' 'In contrast,' or 'Similarly' can help to connect ideas more smoothly. Also, avoid starting multiple sentences with 'In 2005' or 'In 2010'; vary your sentence structure.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is a lack of precision in word choice, which affects the clarity of the report. To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to sales, percentages, and comparisons. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'sale was at,' consider using terms like 'accounted for,' 'represented,' or 'constituted.' Also, avoid informal language such as 'being play' or 'at the bottom.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper use of articles. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on proofreading carefully for errors and practicing a variety of sentence structures. For example, try incorporating compound and complex sentences to express more nuanced relationships between ideas. Pay attention to the correct use of 'than' versus 'then.'

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