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Band 7+: The charts below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting and the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The charts below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting and the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts two pie charts representing electricity usage by various sectors in Eastern Australia for 2007 and 2010. In 2007, the breakdown showed Residential at 28%, Commercial at 23%, Manufacturing at 13%, Aluminium at 13%, Mining and Transport each at 1%, and Other Metals at 12%. In 2010, the distribution adjusted to Residential at 28%, Commercial at 23%, Manufacturing at 9%, Aluminium at 13%, Mining at 9%, Transport at 1%, and Other Metals at 18%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The charts illustrate the percentage of Australian citizens that are use electricity in different sectors in 2007 and 2010. The units are measured in percentages.

Overall, residential and commercial sectors used the largest amount of electricity in both years. Most sectors showed small changes over the period, while transport and agriculture used the least electricity.

In 2007, the residential sector was the biggest user of electricity, accounting for 28 per cent. Commercial was the second largest at 23 per cent. Manufacturing and aluminium each used 13 per cent of electricity. Other metals made up of 12 per cent, while mining was for 9 per cent. Agriculture and transport used very small amount at 1 per cent.

In 2010, residential electricity use was detected the same at 28 per cent, and commercial also stayed stable at 23 per cent. Meanwhile, manufacturing decreased from 13 to 9%, and aluminium fell slightly to 11%. In contrast, electricity use for other metals increased to 18%. Mining and agriculture showed no change, while transport illustrated the smallest user.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

electricity: 6

sectors: 3

residential: 3

commercial: 3

while: 3

transport: 3

agriculture: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the charts and makes relevant comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., aluminium fell slightly to 11% - should be 13%, mining and agriculture showed no change - mining changed to 9% and agriculture is not present). Also, the report could benefit from more precise language and a clearer structure. For example, the overview could be more specific, and the body paragraphs could be organized more effectively to highlight key trends and changes.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs for each year. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are mostly smooth, contributing to the overall coherence. However, there are a few instances where the connection between ideas could be strengthened to improve the flow. For example, in the last paragraph, the transition between discussing the changes in manufacturing and aluminium to the use of 'in contrast' for other metals could be more explicit. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the connection between ideas and improve the overall readability.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe the data effectively. Terms like 'accounting for,' 'stable,' 'decreased,' and 'in contrast' are used appropriately. However, there are opportunities to enhance the lexical resource by using more precise and varied vocabulary to describe trends and changes. For example, instead of 'fell slightly,' you could use 'experienced a marginal decrease.' Additionally, consider incorporating synonyms for frequently used words like 'use' to showcase a wider lexical range. While the vocabulary is adequate for the task, expanding the range and precision could elevate the report further.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. There are a few minor errors, such as 'Australian citizens that are use electricity' and 'mining was for 9 per cent,' which could be corrected for improved accuracy. Additionally, phrases like 'electricity use for other metals increased' could be rephrased for better clarity and grammatical correctness. Overall, the grammar is sound, but attention to detail and refining sentence structures would enhance the report's grammatical accuracy.

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Band 7+: The charts below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting and the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The charts below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting and the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting and the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of electricity used by different sectors in Eastern Australia in 2007 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting and the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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