Pie Chart

Band 4+: The charts show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008-2014.

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The image shows two pie charts comparing the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014; in 2008, Environmental: 21%, Art: 18%, Sport: 15%, Health Care: 7%, Educational: 24%, Others: 15%; in 2014, Environmental: 29%, Art: 12%, Sport: 9%, Health Care: 17%, Educational: 25%, Others: 8%.

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The following diagram illustrates the proportion of volunteering taken place at each of the organisation from 2008 to 2014. On the whole, aspects such environmental, sport increases while Art and others decreases. Environmental gained more volunteers, whereas healthcare gained less in 2014.

In addition, percentage of sports in 2014 greatly increased compared with 2008. As years go by, participants of educational, Arts and others significantly dropped by six percent. Whilst healthcare only add up by one, sports and environmental rose by around 8 percent.

Compared to 2008, sports has the most proportion in 2014 while healthcare remained the lowest in groups.

Word Count: 101

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

environmental: 3

healthcare: 3

sports: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key trends and provides some data, but there are inaccuracies and omissions. The writing could be more precise and avoid generalizations. For example, the report states "percentage of sports in 2014 greatly increased compared with 2008", but the percentage actually decreased. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and providing specific figures to support your observations. Also, ensure that all significant trends are mentioned. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The overview is weak and doesn't effectively summarize the main trends. The body paragraphs are disorganized, with information presented in a haphazard manner. Transitions between sentences and ideas are often missing or unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the analysis. Paragraphing needs improvement to group related information together more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is some repetition of words and phrases, and the range of vocabulary is limited. More sophisticated vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and proportions could be used to enhance the report. For example, instead of 'increases,' consider using 'grew,' 'rose,' or 'expanded.' Instead of 'decreases,' try 'declined,' 'fell,' or 'diminished.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Punctuation errors are also present. To improve, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures accurately and proofread carefully for errors.

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