Process Diagram

Band 4+: The diagram below shows how drinking water is made using solar power. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows how drinking water is made using solar power. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

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The image depicts a system comprising seven main components: solar panel converting sunlight to electricity, which powers a pump in an underground well, pushing water to a water tank on a wooden platform, from where drinking water is dispensed through a tap into a moveable container.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The diagram illustrates the process of making drinking water by solar power.

Overall, it is evident that the process consists of three stages, beginning with filling solar panel with sunlight, followed by converting into water in water tank and ending with fresh water to drink.

Looking more closely at the diagram, the sun gives its light to solar panel in order to change it into water in the pump in underground well. The transformation procedure needs electricity. Subsequently, in the pump, water is carried to water tank which is made of wooden.

The next stage starts with the procedure of converting water into drinkable one in the wooden platform. Thereafter, the drinkable water is placed on the moveable container.

Word Count: 119

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 9

solar: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the water purification process using solar power, but it contains inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the diagram. The description of the process is not always clear or logical, and there are some issues with language and grammar. To improve, focus on accurately describing each step of the process in a clear and logical sequence. Pay attention to the specific components and their functions, and avoid making unsupported assumptions or interpretations. Also, work on improving your grammar and vocabulary to ensure that your writing is clear and precise. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization into three stages is a reasonable approach, but the transitions between these stages are not always clear, leading to some choppiness. The use of cohesive devices like 'subsequently' and 'thereafter' feels somewhat forced and doesn't always logically connect the ideas. Paragraphing could be improved to better group related information and enhance flow. For example, the description of the solar panel and pump could be combined into a single paragraph.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat basic and repetitive. There's a reliance on simple words and phrases (e.g., 'gives its light,' 'change it into water,' 'made of wooden'). The report would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to describe the process more precisely and effectively. Consider using synonyms and more technical terms where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. These include incorrect verb tenses ('filling solar panel,' 'converting into water'), awkward phrasing ('the transformation procedure needs electricity'), and issues with article usage ('in the pump,' 'to water tank which is made of wooden'). Sentence structure is also quite simple, limiting the complexity of the information conveyed. To improve, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures and carefully proofreading for errors.

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