Process Diagram

Band 6+: The diagram below shows the process of making soft cheese. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the process of making soft cheese. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

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The image shows the process of making soft cheese involving the following stages: Mixing water and milk, Cooling at 5°C for 2 hours, Fermentation at 35°C for 6 hours with the addition of salt, Evaporation at 100°C for 8 hours using steam, then Cooling at 5°C for 6 hours to produce the final soft cheese, with an additional filtering step where waste water is removed.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The figure below represents how soft cheese is made via different processes and various ingredients.

To start with , the process of making soft cheese starts with mixing water and milk together and then this mixed water and milk will be cooled at 5 celcious for 2 hours . after cooling 2 hours of this mixed water and milk , salt has been added and this salted colled , mixed water and milk will be fermentated for 6 hours at 35 degree celcious.

Adding more , this fermented , cooled and mixed water and milk will be tranffered to another chamber where it will be evaporated for 8 hours at 100 degree celcious with countinous heat and while the proecess between evaporation and mixing ingredients will be moved into thick liquid condition from liquid . Moreover this thick liquid from the evaporated chamber will be tranferred into the cooling chamber and will be filtered and segregated between water and soft cheese after 6 hours at 5 degree celcious.

Overall, with raw ingredients like water and milk with different proecess while heating and cooling soft cheese is made.

Word Count: 187

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 7

hours: 5

cheese: 4

mixed: 4

cooling: 3

degree: 3

chamber: 3

liquid: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by describing the main stages of the soft cheese production process, from mixing to final cooling. It includes key details such as temperatures and durations, and provides a brief overview. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and omissions: the fermentation step is described as occurring after cooling, but the visual indicates salt is added during fermentation; the filtering step is mentioned but not clearly integrated into the sequence; and the evaporation step is described as involving 'continuous heat' which is not explicitly shown. Additionally, the language contains several spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'celcious', 'fermentated', 'tranffered', 'proecess') that slightly hinder clarity. To improve, ensure all stages are accurately sequenced and clearly linked, and proofread for language accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive references to the mixture (e.g., 'this mixed water and milk', 'this salted colled, mixed water and milk'). Cohesive devices are used but not always effectively, and the overuse of 'and' and 'while' can make sentences cumbersome. To improve, focus on clearer referencing (e.g., 'the mixture', 'it') and ensure each stage flows logically to the next. Paragraphing is present but could be more skillfully managed to separate distinct phases of the process.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate to convey the process, but there is limited variation and some inaccuracies (e.g., 'celcious' instead of 'Celsius', 'fermentated' instead of 'fermented', 'tranffered' instead of 'transferred'). These errors, along with awkward collocations like 'thick liquid condition', reduce clarity. A wider range of precise vocabulary related to processes (e.g., 'mixture', 'heated', 'cooled', 'filtered') would enhance the report. Pay attention to spelling and word forms to improve lexical accuracy.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but errors in grammar and punctuation are noticeable. For instance, there are issues with verb tenses (e.g., 'salt has been added' should be 'salt is added'), missing articles, and incorrect prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect readability. To improve, proofread for basic grammar and punctuation, and practice using passive voice consistently for process descriptions.

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