Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram shows the procedure for university entry for high school graduates. Write a report for a university or college lecturer describing the information. Write at least 150 words

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Image for topic: The diagram shows the procedure for university entry for high school graduates. Write a report for a university or college lecturer describing the information. Write at least 150 words

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The image depicts a flowchart detailing university entry steps for high school graduates: Obtain High School leads to Complete Application Form, available as a download from the website, followed by Compile Documentation, followed by Send to Admin, where two paths emerge: if rejected, a Cancel Application option is available, whereas another option allows for Complete Application for Alternative Course; upon provisional acceptance, noted as requiring more documentation, within 2 weeks leads to Acceptance, followed by Complete Enrolment, then Select Subjects, Register with Dean, and finally Enter University.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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It is clear that after one has to obtains high school before joining university, then proceeds to completes an application form which is downloaded from the website. Once the form is filled it is submitted to the university administrator where it goes for scrutiny if it meets the criteria of joining the institutions.

It is from the administrators desk that some forms are either rejected, if dismissed the applicant can complete another application form for an alternative course and send it back to the adminstrator. In this same office the form can as well be accepted for complete enrollment after a period of two weeks.

Still on admnistration office an application can have provisional acceptance which means the applicant has to submit more documentation required and this takes 2 weeks. When it gets to this point the student has to put together the requested materials and send them back to the admnistrator for review.

Once the application has been accepted for enrollment, the student is allowed to select the subject that he wants to pursue then registers with the university dean, and finally he is allowed to join the institution.

Word Count: 190

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

application: 4

university: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers all the main stages of the process and follows a logical progression. The description of the different paths (rejection, alternative course, and provisional acceptance) is clear. To improve, ensure better grammatical accuracy, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'one has to obtain' instead of 'obtains'). Additionally, while the sequence is well-handled, using more varied cohesive devices and formal transition signals would help create a smoother flow between the different stages of the flowchart.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical sequence, but the progression is occasionally hindered by repetitive sentence structures and awkward transitions. While the stages of the process are covered, the connection between paragraphs could be smoother. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Subsequently,' 'Following this,' 'In the event of...') and ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next rather than starting abruptly with phrases like 'Still on administration office'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is functional but lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of words like 'administrator', 'application', and 'form'. To improve, try to use synonyms and more academic phrasing. For example, instead of 'send it back', you could use 'resubmit'; instead of 'the student is allowed to', you could use 'the student proceeds to'. Additionally, be careful with word forms and spelling (e.g., 'admnistration', 'admnistrator').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical accuracy is a significant area for improvement. There are several errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'one has to obtains', 'proceeds to completes') and awkward phrasing that affects readability. The sentence structures are somewhat limited and often contain errors that require the reader to pause and re-read. Focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and practicing complex sentence structures (such as relative clauses and passive voice) to describe processes more accurately.

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