Line Graph

Band 4+: The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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The image shows a line graph with data spanning 15 days for two categories: Music Choice and Pop Parade. Music Choice figures in '000s are, in order from day 1 to day 15: 20, 10, 30, 80, 40, 60, 60, 40, 20, 30, 20, 20, 70, 60, 100. Pop Parade figures in '000s are, from day 1 to day 15: 120, 120, 100, 100, 80, 80, 60, 60, 140, 120, 100, 160, 160, 140, 180.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph reports a compare betwenn the number of participation to two new music sites on the web for a university lecturer.

Overall, what stands out from the ine graph the number of visits of Pop Parade incerased throughout the period, which declined at the beginning the period. An additional interesting point that can be seen is that the figure for Music Choice fulctuated the most of the period, while increased towards the end of the period.

Looking at the details, the number of visits of pop Parade declined sharpy from a just under from 120,000 in first day to around 30,000 in seventh day. It then increasd to around 150,000 in 11th day. It after that increased to 80,000 in 13th day, it evanthually climbed to approximately 170,000 in 15th day.

Regarding Music Choice, the nmber of visits fulctuated relatively stable by 30,000 from at the beginning to 11th day, It then significantly rose to 120,000 in 12th day, which reached its peak, finally it dropped to approximately just under 80,000 in 15th day.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

number: 3

music: 3

visits: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview of the trends, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and logical consistency. Several data points mentioned in the body paragraphs do not align with the provided visual description (for example, the reported figures for Pop Parade and Music Choice at specific days are inconsistent with the source data). Additionally, some descriptions are contradictory, such as stating a figure increased and then immediately stating it decreased within the same context. To improve, focus on ensuring that the numbers cited directly match the graph and that the direction of trends (increase vs. decrease) is clearly and accurately described.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report follows a standard structure (Introduction, Overview, and Details), which is good. However, the progression of ideas is often interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Cohesion is weak because the transitions between sentences and clauses are sometimes abrupt or incorrectly used (e.g., 'It after that increased...'). To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices such as 'subsequently,' 'following this,' or 'in contrast' to link your observations more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and contains several spelling errors (e.g., 'compare betwenn', 'incerased', 'fulctuated', 'sharpy', 'evanthually', 'nmber'). While you attempt to use descriptive verbs like 'fluctuated' and 'climbed,' the errors in spelling and word choice (e.g., 'number of participation' instead of 'number of visits') hinder the clarity of the report. Aim to build a more precise vocabulary for describing trends and ensure that spelling is accurate to maintain a professional tone.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the report that impact readability. Issues include incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'in first day' instead of 'on the first day'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure errors (e.g., 'what stands out from the ine graph the number of visits...'). There are also instances of run-on sentences where multiple ideas are joined incorrectly. To improve, practice using complex sentence structures with correct punctuation and pay close attention to articles (a, an, the) and prepositions of time.

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Band 4+: The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

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