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Band 4+: The graph below gives information about the amount of money earned by three famous football players from 2008 to 2018.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about the amount of money earned by three famous football players from 2008 to 2018.

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The image depicts yearly income data for Lionel Messi, David Almada, and Cristiano Ronaldo from 2008 to 2018: Messi's income (in millions) is shown as follows: 2008: 0.5, 2009: 1.1, 2010: 1.6, 2011: 1.4, 2012: 1.8, 2013: 1.5, 2014: 2.1, 2015: 2.5, 2016: 3.1, 2017: 2.7, 2018: 3.5; Almada's income (in millions) is 2008: 0.7, 2009: 0.8, 2010: 1.1, 2011: 0.5, 2012: 0.3, 2013: 0.8, 2014: 1.1, 2015: 0.9, 2016: 0.8, 2017: 1.2, 2018: 1.1; Ronaldo's income (in millions) is 2008: 1.0, 2009: 1.4, 2010: 1.6, 2011: 1.9, 2012: 2.5, 2013: 2.0, 2014: 2.3, 2015: 2.7, 2016: 3.0, 2017: 3.1, 2018: 3.2.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given graph illustrates sum of wages earned by well-known football players from 2008 to 2018.

Overall, it is clearly seen that Messi’s and Ozil’s wages increased, while Ronaldo’s salary remained steady.

From 2008 to 2011, Messi’s amount of money steadily declined to 8 million, Ronaldo’s salary reached the lowest point, whereas Ozil’s wage stayed constant till 2010, increased gradually until 2012. Between 2012 and 2013, Messi’s wage experienced steady rise and slight drop at nearly 11 milions. At the same time, Ozil’s salary dropped sharply at about 1.5 and Ronaldo’s amount of cash slightly went up. From 2014 to 2018 Ronaldo’s salary remained constant with 2 millions. In 2013 to 2016 Messi’s wage remained stable and gradually fell. After 2016 to 2018 Messi’s total of money dramatically peaked at approximaely 17 millions. Finally, from 2013 to 2014 Ozil’s sum of money sharply increase to nearly 6 millions, and it fluctuated till the end of the given period.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

messi's: 5

ozil's: 4

ronaldo's: 4

salary: 4

remained: 3

money: 3

millions: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data presented in the graph. The overall trends are not correctly identified, and there are numerous errors in the reported values and fluctuations. The report also includes irrelevant information (mentioning 'Ozil' when the graph refers to 'Almada'). To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, identifying key trends, and avoiding factual errors. Ensure that the names and values mentioned align with the information provided in the graph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear overall structure and contains inconsistencies in the data presented, making it difficult to follow the trends accurately. The information about the players' earnings is not presented in a logical order, and there are abrupt transitions between different time periods and players. To improve coherence, organize the information chronologically or by player, and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to link ideas and sentences together smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice. For example, using 'sum of wages' instead of 'earnings' or 'income' is not the most precise way to describe the data. To improve lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary related to financial data and trends, such as 'fluctuated,' 'peaked,' 'remained stable,' and 'increased gradually.' Also, ensure that you use the correct prepositions and collocations to avoid awkward phrasing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in preposition usage. These errors significantly affect the clarity and accuracy of the report. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a variety of sentence structures correctly and paying attention to basic grammar rules. Proofread your work carefully to identify and correct any errors before submitting it.

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