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Band 5+: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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The image displays job numbers in millions from 1960 to 2020 for four sectors: Manufacturing starts at 14m in 1960, peaks at 20m in 1980, gradually declining to 15m in 2000 and then sharply to 5m in 2020; Agriculture starts at 5m, drops to 4m in 1980, further declines to 3m in 2000, reaching just below 2m in 2020; Retail begins at 10m, remains stable until around 2000 before increasing to 15m by 2020; Healthcare starts at around 2m, rises to 5m in 1980, climbs to 10m in 2000, and then peaks around 20m in 2020.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph gives information about employments in four economy sectors in the United States in years between 1960 to 2020. Overall the graph shows data of manufacturing, agriculture, retail and healthcare sectors, and the degrees of them is different from each other.

Amount of jobs in healthcare and retail was increasing throughout all years. Startpoint for retail was above 5 millions in 1960 and the endpoint for around 15 millions in 2020.The startpoint for healthcare was quite lower, for around 2 millions in 1960, but rocketly increased in 7 times to above 15 millions in 2020.

The numbers for manufacture and agriculture is totaly opposite. Manufacture started from 15 millions in 1960 and reached highest point for 20 millions in 1980, however after that dramatical downfall happened and in 2020 the number was below the startpoint.The agriculture has got starpoint the same as retail sector, nevertheless it has not got any increase throughout the all time.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

millions: 6

retail: 4

agriculture: 3

healthcare: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends in the graph, but there are some omissions and generalizations. For example, the manufacturing sector's decline could be described in more detail, and the specific figures could be more accurate. Also, the writing could be more precise and avoid informal language ('rocketly').

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, using cohesive devices like 'similarly,' 'in contrast,' or 'furthermore' would help connect ideas more logically. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively used to group related information and create a clearer structure.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and lacks precision. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'degrees of them is different,' 'rocketly increased'). Expanding your vocabulary and using more specific terms would improve the clarity and impact of your writing. For example, instead of 'rocketly increased,' you could use 'increased exponentially' or 'grew rapidly.' Also, avoid informal language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and article usage are present. For example, 'employments' should be 'employment,' and 'totaly opposite' should be 'totally opposite.' Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofreading carefully for errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage is essential.

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