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Band 6+: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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The image displays job numbers in millions from 1960 to 2020 for four sectors: Manufacturing starts at 14m in 1960, peaks at 20m in 1980, gradually declining to 15m in 2000 and then sharply to 5m in 2020; Agriculture starts at 5m, drops to 4m in 1980, further declines to 3m in 2000, reaching just below 2m in 2020; Retail begins at 10m, remains stable until around 2000 before increasing to 15m by 2020; Healthcare starts at around 2m, rises to 5m in 1980, climbs to 10m in 2000, and then peaks around 20m in 2020.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line chart displays data related to the amount of jobs in four categories of the economy in America from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in healthcare and retail increased substantially during the given period, with the highest ranking at the ending year. In terms of manufacturing and agriculture ,the amount of job decreased.

In retail sector, the amount of job rose consistently from just over 5 million in 1960 and to around 15 million in 2020. When it comes to healthcare, the trend was similar to in retail. In the beginning year, it was the lowest compared to other categories, with around 3 million in 1960 , and ended at the same as in retail, which was the highest in 2020.

Between 1960 and 1980, the number of jobs in manufacturing went up significantly from 15 million to 20 million, and then continuously dropped to around 13 million in 2020. The number of in agriculture sector was approximately 6 million at the starting point and declined steadily year on year and ended at around 2 million in 2020.

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 8

retail: 4

around: 4

amount: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by describing the main trends across the four sectors. The overall structure is clear, with a good overview paragraph and detailed paragraphs for each sector. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., retail starting at 'just over 5 million' instead of 10 million, manufacturing starting at 15 million instead of 14 million, and agriculture starting at 6 million instead of 5 million). Additionally, the description of retail's trend as 'consistently' rising is not entirely accurate given the visual description indicates stability until around 2000. To improve, ensure data points are more carefully checked against the visual information and use more precise language to describe trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overall trend statement and separate paragraphs for different sectors. However, the cohesion could be improved by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. For example, the transition between the overview and the detailed paragraphs feels a bit abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are a bit choppy, and the use of 'When it comes to' and 'In terms of' could be varied for better flow. Consider using more sophisticated cohesive devices like 'Similarly,' 'In contrast,' or 'Turning to' to enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate and mostly appropriate for the task, with some good attempts at paraphrasing (e.g., 'displayed data related to,' 'increased substantially'). However, there is some repetition of phrases like 'the amount of job' and 'in terms of,' which could be varied. The report would benefit from a wider range of precise vocabulary, such as 'employment figures,' 'workforce,' or 'sector,' and more sophisticated terms like 'soared,' 'plummeted,' or 'remained stable.' Also, note that 'amount' is typically used for uncountable nouns; 'number' is more appropriate for countable jobs.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including comparative forms and time phrases. However, there are several errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'the amount of job decreased' should be 'the number of jobs decreased'; 'the trend was similar to in retail' should be 'the trend was similar to that in retail'; and 'the number of in agriculture sector' is missing an article and should be 'the number of jobs in the agriculture sector.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and more complex sentence structures like subordinate clauses.

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Band 6+: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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