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Band 4+: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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Image for topic: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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The image displays job numbers in millions from 1960 to 2020 for four sectors: Manufacturing starts at 14m in 1960, peaks at 20m in 1980, gradually declining to 15m in 2000 and then sharply to 5m in 2020; Agriculture starts at 5m, drops to 4m in 1980, further declines to 3m in 2000, reaching just below 2m in 2020; Retail begins at 10m, remains stable until around 2000 before increasing to 15m by 2020; Healthcare starts at around 2m, rises to 5m in 1980, climbs to 10m in 2000, and then peaks around 20m in 2020.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates a report about the number of workers work in four categories of employment in the US from 1960 to 2020. The jobs measured in millions.

Overall, it is clearly seen that Retail and Healthcare both sectors experienced an upward trend over the period, while Manufacturing and Agriculture had a higher trend, but at the end of the year these fell downward trend.

In terms of Manufacturing, manufacturing stood at 15 million jobs in 1960 and then rose sharply 20 million in the year 1980. After that, it fell to roughly 13 million in 2020 respectively. Jobs in Agriculture began with approximately 6 million in 1960, and this sector gradually decreased by the end of 2020.

Looking into more details, the number of jobs for employees in retail and healthcare provided lower trends, retail stood at around 6 million and healthcare had at about 3 million. Moreover, these trend experience increased significantly to roughly at 16 million end of the period in 2020. Whereas, agritulture began with 6 million, however it fell downward trend.

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 8

trend: 4

retail: 3

healthcare: 3

manufacturing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends of the graph, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. Some figures provided in the report contradict the visual description (for example, the starting points for Manufacturing and Retail), and the description of the trends is sometimes confusing or repetitive. To improve, ensure that the data cited is consistent and that the relationship between different sectors is described clearly. Additionally, avoid repetitive phrasing such as 'fell downward trend' and focus on using a wider variety of vocabulary to describe changes in data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat repetitive and lacks a logical flow. While you have attempted to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Overall', 'In terms of', 'Looking into more details'), they are often used incorrectly or do not help the reader navigate the information smoothly. For example, the final paragraph repeats information about agriculture that was already mentioned in the previous paragraph. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a distinct purpose: one for the overview and others for specific comparisons. Avoid repeating the same data points in different sections.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word forms, such as using 'fell downward trend' instead of 'showed a downward trend' or 'experienced a decline'. Additionally, the phrase 'illustrates a report' is redundant; you should say 'the graph illustrates the number of...'. Try to use a wider variety of verbs to describe change (e.g., plummeted, surged, fluctuated, stabilized) and avoid using the same words like 'trend' and 'million' excessively without variation.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'workers work'), missing verbs (e.g., 'The jobs measured in millions' should be 'The jobs were measured in millions'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'healthcare had at about 3 million'). Sentence structures are mostly simple and often contain errors in preposition usage. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and a correctly conjugated verb.

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Band 4+: The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

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