Line Graph

Band 6+: The graph compares employment rates in the 3 sectors of economy. In the UK, 2000-2010. Summarize information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph compares employment rates in the 3 sectors of economy. In the UK, 2000-2010. Summarize information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image depicts a line graph showing employment rates in the UK's public, private, and self-employed sectors from 2000 to 2010. Public sector employment stayed between 40%-50%, while private sector employment fluctuated between 30%-40%. The self-employed sector showed a consistent increase from 20% to 30%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph highlights data about the proportion of people who were employed in 3 sectors of the UK economy between 2000 and 2010.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there were significant upward trends in the employment figures of both self-employed and public sector, while the rates of private sector witnessed a significant downward trend over the period in question. In addition, the highest percentage of people with jobs during the researched period was for the public sector in 2010.Looking at the details, as regards public and private sectors, the employment rates stood at 38 and 48% until 2003, they became equal . Then the proportion of employees in the public sector rose gradually in the next two years before dipping by 5% in 2006, following by a slight increase which reached 51% at the end. By contrast, the private sector followed an opposite trend where it fell steadily from 2003 to 2010, ended at around 20%.

During the period shown, the figure for the self-employed sector experienced a marginal fluctuation. At the beginning of the period, it went up to 20% and then declined slightly in 2003 and 2004. At this point, there was a steady rise of employment rate, which led to the figure reaching 30% in 2010.

Word Count: 213

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sector: 6

public: 4

period: 4

employment: 3

private: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main requirements of the task and provides a clear overview of the trends. The comparison between the sectors is present, and the data points are used to support the description. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting (for example, stating the private sector ended at 20% when the visual description suggests it fluctuated between 30-40%) and some minor grammatical issues with sentence structure and word choice (e.g., 'following by' instead of 'followed by'). To improve, ensure that the trends described align more strictly with the provided data and refine the use of cohesive devices to improve the flow of the detailed paragraphs.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is organized logically, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that separate the sectors. However, the transition between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the connection between the equality of the public and private sectors in 2003 and the subsequent trends could be more fluid. Using more sophisticated cohesive devices instead of simple conjunctions would help the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with terms like 'significant upward trends', 'witnessed', and 'marginal fluctuation' showing a good range. To reach a higher band, try to avoid repetitive phrasing (e.g., 'the figure for', 'the proportion of') and incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' to demonstrate greater lexical flexibility.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies that hinder the precision of the report. For example, 'following by' should be 'followed by', and 'ended at around 20%' is a comma splice/run-on structure that should be corrected to 'ending at around 20%' or 'and ended at around 20%'. Pay close attention to participle clauses and subject-verb agreement to improve accuracy.

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