Bar Chart

Band 6+: The graph gives information about employment categories of a country in 2003 and 2013.

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Image for topic: The graph gives information about employment categories of a country in 2003 and 2013.

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The image shows employment categories for a country in 2003 and 2013, with data points for Education training at 10 (2003) and 12 (2013), Hotel industry at 2 (2003) and 4 (2013), Medical at 8 (2003) and 10 (2013), Building at 7 (2003) and 9 (2013), Business at 38 (2003) and 30 (2013), Self-employed at 22 (2003) and 24 (2013), and Unemployed at 16 (2003) and 18 (2013).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph shows evidence about the distinguished careers of a nation in 2003 and 2013.

Regarding business and medicine, both were the most favored sectors for adults, registering a decline of 10 persons and 10 individuals over the past 10 years.

Moving on to the 5 remaining occupations, they are less chosen by seniors. Self-employment marginally escalated to 32 individuals in 2013. When it comes to building and unemployment, the former witnessed an improvement of 20 people and the latter a significant growth of 10 people over the course of time.

At the bottom of the graph, education training and the hotel industry were disfavored. Education training considerably surged to 19 humans. The hotel industry was left behind all of these jobs, strikingly climbing by 15 people in the last 10 years.

In conclusion, there was a downward trend in employment categories for medicine and business, but the opposite pattern was recorded in all these remaining majors.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to describe the graph but contains significant inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. Key points are either irrelevant or inaccurate, leading to a distorted representation of the information. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data provided in the graph, avoid exaggerations, and ensure that the numbers cited in the report match the values in the graph.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. The grouping of categories feels somewhat arbitrary. For instance, combining 'business and medicine' in the first paragraph and then grouping the remaining occupations together makes the information harder to follow. Consider grouping categories based on trends (increase, decrease) or magnitude for better clarity. The use of transitional phrases is present but could be more effective in guiding the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but some word choices are not entirely appropriate ('distinguished careers,' 'seniors,' 'marginally escalated to 32 individuals,' 'considerably surged to 19 humans,' 'strikingly climbing by 15 people'). While the vocabulary is varied, focusing on more precise and natural language would enhance the report. For example, using 'slightly increased' instead of 'marginally escalated' would sound more natural.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with very few errors. The sentence structures are varied and generally accurate. A few minor adjustments could further refine the language, but overall, the grammar is strong.

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Band 6+: The graph gives information about employment categories of a country in 2003 and 2013.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The graph gives information about employment categories of a country in 2003 and 2013.

The graph gives information about employment categories of a country in 2003 and 2013.

The graph gives information about employment categories of a country in 2003 and 2013.

The graph gives information about employment categories of a country in 2003 and 2013.

Other Topics:

The bar chart gives information about the percentage of car trips made by male and female drivers

it is a bar chart, garang! I sent it here . look at below

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Overall Band Score

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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