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Band 4+: The number of prisoner in thousands in differnent five countries from 1930 and 1980

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The image depicts a bar graph showing the number of prisoners in thousands in five different countries (Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, United States, Canada) from 1930 to 1980. Each decade is represented by a group of five bars, one for each country, with the United States consistently having the highest number of prisoners, reaching over 140,000 in the 1970s, while New Zealand consistently has the lowest, never exceeding 20,000. Great Britain, Australia, and Canada have moderate numbers, ranging from around 20,000 to 80,000 prisoners throughout the decades.

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The quantity of prisoner in thousands in different five countries between 1930 and 1980.

The number of people of three coutries: Australia, New Zealand, Canada went down while that of remaining countries increased. In addition to the data of prisoner in United Satates was the first rank in 1980.

To be specific, the number of crimes of Canada in thousands was higher than the figure for Australia, at around 50 and higher than that of New Zealand, at 20. After four decades, the data of people in Australia was the same that of New Zealand, at about 65. There was a fell up by 30 in the ratio of prisoner in Canada followed by that of Australia with around 40 less than that and there were about 85 people in thousands of New Zealand in the period of 1980.

The data of Great Britian rose steadily from 30 to over 80 in 5 decades. Otherwise, there was a boom in the figure for United States to nearly 140 people and was the first rank in five countries in 1980.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 4

australia: 4

zealand: 4

prisoner: 3

thousands: 3

countries: 3

canada: 3

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The organization is weak, and the language is unclear, affecting overall coherence. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data trends and relationships, organizing the information logically, and using precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear overall structure and logical flow. The connections between sentences and ideas are often unclear, making it difficult to follow the main trends and comparisons. Paragraphing is not effectively used to organize the information. Consider using a more structured approach, such as dedicating paragraphs to specific countries or time periods, and using transition words to link ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., "quantity" instead of "number," "fell up"). To improve, focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary related to numerical data and trends. For example, use terms like "increased," "decreased," "fluctuated," "remained stable," "peak," "trough," and "significant." Also, ensure that you are using the correct prepositions and collocations. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the report. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work. Consider using a grammar checker to help identify areas for improvement.

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