Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie and bar charts below show the percentage of water consumption and use in Australia in 2004

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Image for topic: The pie and bar charts below show the percentage of water consumption and use in Australia in 2004

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The image displays two data visualizations portraying water consumption. The pie chart shows five categories: Residential at 70%, Industrial at 11%, Business at 10%, Government at 6%, and Other at 3%. Below, a bar graph presents Residential Water Use (%) across five household activities. Bathroom use constitutes 27%, Toilet use 15%, Washing clothes 20%, Kitchen use 10%, and Garden use 28%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of water consumption in different sectors.The bar chart shows water useing in residential purpose of daily life.The units are measured in percentage.

Overall,The residential area, bathroom and garden is largest accounted for water consumption in ever day,while kitchen and other sources is lowest recorded in the water useing.

The residential area highest consumed in the water in daily life for 70% aslo 11% in industrial areas used water source in different activities.Moreover,in government offices shared a lower ammount of water required in 6%.In contrast, business is largest accounted water consumption compared to others.

On the other hand,the garden and bathroom purpose used ground water in 28% to 27% .The washing clothes required water proportion in 20% in every day.In contrast,toilet is highest consuming water compared to kitchen.

Word Count: 133

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 11

consumption: 3

residential: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The organization could be improved by grouping information more logically. For example, discuss the pie chart in one paragraph and the bar chart in another. Also, avoid direct contradictions and ensure accuracy in reporting the data. To improve, focus on accurate data representation, clear organization, and precise language. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the paragraphing is not effective. The introduction is weak, and the overview is not very informative. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions, making it difficult to follow the writer's train of thought. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using clear topic sentences, transitional phrases, and logical paragraphing.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a limited range of vocabulary, and there are some instances of inaccurate word choice ('useing,' 'ammount'). The vocabulary is not always appropriate for the task, and there is a lack of precision in describing the data. To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to data analysis and using more precise and varied language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in sentence structure. These errors significantly affect the clarity and accuracy of the report. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing writing with a variety of sentence structures. Pay close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions.

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