Pie Chart

Band 4+: The pie chart below displays the total sales by category for two locations. The East location and the West location. The sales are calculated in dollars.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below displays the total sales by category for two locations. The East location and the West location. The sales are calculated in dollars.

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The image displays two pie charts comparing sales totals by type for East and West regions with the East showing Desktop at $7,500, Laptop at $10,000, Mobile at $20,000, and Software at $15,000, while the West indicates Desktop at $6,000, Laptop at $12,000, Mobile at $17,500, and Software at $7,500.

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The chart below displays to maximum sales by four categories for east and west locations. The sales are calculated with dolars.

Overall, among two pie charts the highest proportion was same level and name was Mobile. On the other hand, comparing to two sides, the less percentage was same stage too.

About East side the mobile stayed number one. The cost was 20.000 dolars. After, amount of Laptop shows second step on this chart and around 15.000 dolars. The number of three was Desktop. The Desktop total sales experienced 10.000 bucks. End of the list, green colour, name of the Software was the less amount on this pie chart and total sales was 7.500 dolars.

Acording to West side was something different. The Mobile phone was similiar to East side and stayed top level. It was around 17.500 dolars. The second number was Desktop on this side and costs 12.000 dolars. Then the third number was Laptop and compare to East side, the sales amount was halved. The less proportion was same to East side. It was Software and total sales was 6000 dolars.

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 6

dolars: 5

number: 4

chart: 3

mobile: 3

amount: 3

desktop: 3

total: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are noticeable inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with language. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the pie charts and use more precise language. Also, ensure that you proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The introduction is weak, and the overview is not well-defined. The body paragraphs jump between details without clear transitions, making it difficult to follow the comparisons between the East and West locations. Paragraphing needs improvement to group related information effectively. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of precise language to describe the data. For example, instead of saying 'number one,' use 'highest proportion' or 'largest share.' Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to sales figures and comparisons to enhance the report's clarity and sophistication. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors impede understanding and reduce the report's credibility. Focus on constructing grammatically correct sentences and proofread carefully to eliminate errors. Vary sentence structures to improve readability.

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