Pie Chart

Band 7+: The pie charts below show the percentage of US music album sales by genre in 2008, 2009, and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features three pie charts titled "Album sales by genre (2008, 2009, 2010)" displaying music genres and their respective percentages for the years 2008, 2009, and 2010. For 2008, the shares are Rock at 39%, Alternative at 25%, R&B at 22%, Hip-hop/Rap at 11%, and Jazz at 3%. For 2009, the proportions are identical: Rock at 39%, Alternative at 25%, R&B at 22%, Hip-hop/Rap at 11%, and Jazz at 3%. For 2010, the distribution is Rock at 40%, Alternative at 26%, R&B at 19%, Hip-hop/Rap at 12%, and Jazz at 3%.

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The pie charts illustrate the percentage of US music album sales by genre in 2008, 2009 and 2009.

Overall, the percentage of US music sales by genre has increased over the period, while Jazz remained unchanged. Rock accounted for the largest share of the whole, wherease Jazz represented the smallest share.

In 2008 and 2009, Rock accounted for the largest share of the total, at 39%. The percentage of alternative genres stood at 25%, while Hip-Hop and R and B represented 12% and 19% share respectively. However, Jazz accounted for the smallest share, at 3%. The percentage of U.S. music sales by genre remained unchanged from 2008 to 2009.

Turning to 2010, the pattern had changed significantly over the period, the proportion of Rock rose to 40%, ranking the largest share of the total. Alternative genres increased to 26%, while hip-hop/rap increased to 12%.The most noticeable change is that R and B fell dramatically to 19%. Whereas, Jazz remained unchanged, at 3%.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

share: 5

percentage: 4

music: 3

sales: 3

genre: 3

increased: 3

while: 3

remained: 3

unchanged: 3

accounted: 3

largest: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the charts and makes relevant comparisons. It correctly identifies the overall trend, the dominance of Rock, and the stability of Jazz. However, there are a few inaccuracies and omissions: the years are incorrectly stated as '2008, 2009 and 2009' instead of '2008, 2009, and 2010', and the data for R&B and Hip-hop/Rap in 2008 and 2009 are misreported (22% and 11% respectively, not 19% and 12%). Additionally, the report could be more precise in describing the changes between 2008/2009 and 2010, and the phrase 'the pattern had changed significantly' is slightly overstated given the minor shifts. To improve, ensure accurate data reporting and avoid minor typographical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overall structure: introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs for the years. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'In 2008 and 2009', and 'Turning to 2010' helps the reader follow the progression. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt transition in the second paragraph where the data for 2008/2009 is presented, and the phrase 'the pattern had changed significantly' could be better linked to the following details. Additionally, the final sentence 'Whereas, Jazz remained unchanged' is a fragment and disrupts the flow. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that transitions between ideas are smoother.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, such as 'accounted for', 'represented', 'stood at', 'rose to', and 'fell dramatically'. There is also some good use of synonyms for 'percentage' and 'share'. However, there are a few inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'the percentage of US music sales by genre has increased' (which is not accurate as the overall trend is not an increase) and 'wherease' (a misspelling of 'whereas'). Also, 'R and B' is used instead of the more standard 'R&B'. To achieve a higher score, aim for more precise and natural collocations, and avoid repetitive phrasing like 'the percentage of'. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including comparative forms, passive constructions, and complex sentences. There are, however, several minor errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, the title incorrectly states '2008, 2009 and 2009' instead of '2008, 2009, and 2010'. The sentence 'The percentage of alternative genres stood at 25%, while Hip-Hop and R and B represented 12% and 19% share respectively' is confusing because it mixes the data for 2008/2009 with 2010. Also, 'the pattern had changed significantly over the period' is in the past perfect, which is not necessary here. The fragment 'Whereas, Jazz remained unchanged' is a grammatical error. To improve, proofread for such errors and ensure each sentence is complete and logically structured.

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Band 7+: The pie charts below show the percentage of US music album sales by genre in 2008, 2009, and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The pie charts below show the percentage of US music album sales by genre in 2008, 2009, and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the percentage of US music album sales by genre in 2008, 2009, and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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