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Band 6+: The two pie charts show the distribution of world population and people's spending on education

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The image contains two pie charts; the first depicts world population distribution by regions in 2000: Asian Pacific 54%, Europe 14%, Africa 11%, Latin America & Caribbean 9%, North America 6%, Middle East and North Africa 5%, Others 1%; the second shows people’s spending on education in 2000: Primary school 35%, Secondary school 28%, High school 26%, University 10%, Further education 1%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two pie charts illustrate the global population and individuals’ investment on education in 2000.

Overall, the majority of the world population settled down in the Asian Pacific in 2000. Additionally, high school gained the highest contribution in this year.

As can be seen, the percentage of people resided in the Asian Pacific region was the highest, accounting for over half of the global residents, followed by Europe, Africa and Latin America & Caribbean region taking up at 11%, 10% and 9%, respectively. Meanwhile, the proportion of the three remaining regions registered the smallest rate among seven areas with North America’s residents inhabited 7%, the Middle East and South Africa region recorded 6% and other regions accounted for just under 5% in 2000.

With regard to the people’s investment for education, 33% of the total money was spent on high school in comparison with the same proportion of investment on both primary school and secondary school at 26%, ranking the second among the five types of teaching and learning. In contrast, university and further education gained just a small part of the total resources in 2000 with the former taking up 8% and the latter accounting for 7%.

Word Count: 198

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 4

investment: 3

education: 3

region: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the requirements of the task, providing a general overview and highlighting key features of both pie charts. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., proportions for Africa, North America, and spending on high school, primary school and secondary school). To improve, ensure greater accuracy in reporting the data and avoid minor calculation errors. Also, the organization could be slightly improved by grouping similar points together more effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a clear overview and summarizes the main features of the pie charts. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. For instance, the second paragraph mentions 'high school gained the highest contribution' which is factually incorrect according to the visual description, and this affects the overall coherence. Also, the transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the description. For example, instead of 'settled down,' consider using 'resided' or 'lived.' Also, avoid inaccuracies like stating 'high school gained the highest contribution' when it was primary school. Focus on using vocabulary accurately and appropriately to reflect the data presented.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and inaccuracies are present, which affect clarity. For example, 'North America's residents inhabited 7%' is awkward phrasing; it would be better to say 'North America accounted for 6% of the population.' Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of prepositions, and accurate reporting of percentages. Proofreading carefully for grammatical errors is essential.

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