Pie Chart

Band 4+: The two pie charts show the distribution of world population and people's spending on education

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The image contains two pie charts; the first depicts world population distribution by regions in 2000: Asian Pacific 54%, Europe 14%, Africa 11%, Latin America & Caribbean 9%, North America 6%, Middle East and North Africa 5%, Others 1%; the second shows people’s spending on education in 2000: Primary school 35%, Secondary school 28%, High school 26%, University 10%, Further education 1%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two pie charts illustrate the distribution of world population in different regions and the amount of money people spent on education in 2000. Overall, the Asia Pacific is the region where a huge amount of humans in the world lives while the minimum population lives in other regions. Meanwhile, the high amount of money invested in high schools in contrast to the minimum amount of money spent in further education.

According to the World population by region pie chart, 54% of the world’s pollution lives in the Asian Continent while the other half lives in other continents. The 2nd highest populated region is Europe and North America where the population is 11% and 10% respectively. In Latin America and Caribbean only 9% humans live while in Africa 7% humankind exist. In the middle east and north America where 6% of people live. Not but the least minimum pollution of human lives in others world which is equal to 3%.

According to the people’s spending on education pie chart, the investment in different sectors of education departments. High School level is the step of study in which people invest a huge amount of money which is 33%. While in secondary school level or primary level the amount of money remains the same it would be 26%. In the University level and further education the human invest only 8% and 7% respectively.

Word Count: 231

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

amount: 6

money: 5

lives: 5

world: 4

population: 4

education: 4

while: 4

level: 4

people: 3

region: 3

where: 3

minimum: 3

other: 3

america: 3

which: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address both charts and provides an overview, but there are significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. While the instructions suggest leniency toward the visual description, the report contains internal contradictions and inaccuracies that hinder the task achievement (for example, stating the population of Europe and North America is 11% and 10% when the description provides different figures, and misreporting the education percentages). Additionally, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing choices (e.g., 'pollution' instead of 'population', 'humans live') that affect the clarity of the information. To improve, focus on accurately extracting the data provided and ensuring that comparisons between categories are logically structured and linguistically precise.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report struggles with logical flow and sentence structure. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Overall', 'Meanwhile', 'According to'), many sentences are fragmented or incomplete, which disrupts the reader's ability to follow the argument. For example, the sentence starting with 'Meanwhile...' lacks a main verb, and the sentence 'In the middle east and north America where 6% of people live' is a dependent clause acting as a full sentence. To improve, ensure every sentence has a subject and a predicate, and use transition words to link ideas rather than just starting new sentences.

Lexical Resource

There is a significant issue with word choice and 'word formation' errors that occasionally obscure meaning. The most notable error is the repeated use of 'pollution' instead of 'population', which changes the meaning entirely. Additionally, terms like 'huge amount of humans' or 'minimum pollution of human lives' are unnatural. Try to use more academic synonyms for people (e.g., individuals, inhabitants, citizens) and avoid repetitive or incorrect phrasing. Focus on precision in your vocabulary to ensure the data is described accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains frequent grammatical errors that impact clarity. There are several sentence fragments (incomplete sentences) and issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'humans... lives'). There is also a lack of control over complex sentence structures. To improve, practice constructing simple, compound, and complex sentences correctly. Pay close attention to verb tenses and ensure that every clause is grammatically complete. Using a variety of structures like 'While X was high, Y was low' would help improve both range and accuracy.

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