Letter

Band 6+: You are organizing a surprise birthday party for a close friend and need to delegate tasks to other friends to help with the preparations. Write a letter to a friend asking for help with the party arrangements. You should include details about: - What task you would like them to handle (e.g., decorations, food, music) - Why you think they would be perfect for this particular task - The deadline for completing the task, and how to coordinate further

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Dear Tolu,

I am writing this letter to ask for your assistance regarding my upcoming birthday celebration on Thursday. I want you to help with the arrangement and cooking of the dishes.

As a world class chef and owner of Grills restaurant, your expertise would be of immense guidance in this aspect. I would like to have local and international dishes with desserts like ice cream, cheese and cakes. A lot of children and teenagers will be around and I would like to keep their mouths busy.

Furthermore, a detailed invoice slip showing the requirements such as the ingredients for food, amount of drinks required, number of dishes and servings per plate will be helpful for budgeting. Don’t forget to attach your rates and charges to it. A huge sum of money has been added if you agree to this offer.

Thank you for your attention to this matter. I anticipate your response.

Best Regards,

Teju

Word Count: 156

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by requesting help with the party preparations and specifying the task. However, the tone is somewhat inappropriate for a request to a friend, sounding more like a business transaction. The letter also lacks a clear deadline and specific instructions on how to coordinate efforts. To improve, focus on maintaining a friendly tone, clearly stating the deadline, and suggesting a method for coordination.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter generally addresses the task, but the organization could be improved for better clarity. The request is clear, but the tone shifts oddly between friendly and business-like. Consider maintaining a consistent, friendly tone throughout. The transition between discussing the food and requesting an invoice feels abrupt. Smooth this transition by explaining the need for the invoice in a more personal way. For example, you could say, "To help me manage the budget, could you provide a detailed list of ingredients and costs?"

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate, with some good descriptive phrases like 'world class chef' and 'keep their mouths busy.' However, some phrases sound slightly unnatural or too formal for a letter to a friend, such as 'your expertise would be of immense guidance' and 'anticipate your response.' Opt for more casual and friendly language. For example, instead of 'your expertise would be of immense guidance,' try 'your skills would be a huge help.' Instead of 'anticipate your response,' try 'let me know what you think.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'I want you to help with the arrangement and cooking of the dishes' could be clearer as 'I'd love your help with arranging and cooking the dishes.' The sentence 'A huge sum of money has been added if you agree to this offer' is awkwardly phrased and sounds transactional. Rephrase it to sound less like a business deal and more like a friendly request. For example, 'I'm happy to cover all the costs, of course!' Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice to ensure a natural and friendly tone.

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