Letter

Band 6+: You are planning a charity event to raise money for a local animal shelter and need to ask a local business for sponsorship. Write a letter to the manager of a local business requesting their support. You should include: - Information about the charity event (date, time, location, and purpose). - Details of the sponsorship opportunities available. - Why you believe their business would benefit from sponsoring the event.

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Dear Lily

I hope all is well with you, how have you been managing the hustle and bustle of life? I would like to request for sponsorship regarding my charity event that will be occurring soon.

In regards to the plants about the charity needed to raise money for my local animal shelter will be held next Wednesday morning at Park street city, the biggest city in the country, near the donation center. Which is a place known for holding charity events from fun runs to free education volunteering to many more!

Additionally, the sponsorship chances available is endless. For instance, not only do you get to donate food and healthcare products for the animals from the money made from your successful sales, but also you can spread the word about the occasion to get more people to volunteer due to how well known your business is, which will increase the chances for our furry friends to be in the pink!

Sponsoring the event will help to build a brand image to your business, and on top of that you will have the reputation of being an eithical business that will most probably make more people buy and support your establishment, so the offer is by far is not a hit or miss.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to your answer. Until next time, take care!

Best regards,

Lojy

Word Count: 228

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

charity: 3

business: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by providing information about the charity event, sponsorship opportunities, and benefits to the business. However, the tone is slightly informal for a business letter, and some details could be more specific. To improve, focus on maintaining a professional tone throughout and providing concrete details about sponsorship levels and their associated benefits.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization could be improved for better clarity. Consider a more structured approach with clear topic sentences for each paragraph. For example, dedicate one paragraph to introducing the event, another to detailing sponsorship opportunities, and a final one to explaining the benefits for the business. Transition words could also be used to link ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate, but there are instances where more precise or formal language would be beneficial. For example, phrases like 'hustle and bustle of life' and 'in the pink' are informal and may not be appropriate for a formal letter requesting sponsorship. Try to use more specific and professional language to enhance the letter's impact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect the clarity of the letter. For example, the sentence structure in the second paragraph is convoluted and difficult to follow. Pay close attention to sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct use of prepositions. Proofreading carefully before submitting the letter can help catch these errors.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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