Letter

Band 5+: You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organization. Write a letter to the manager of the organization where you are going to do work experience. In your letter thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience. explain what you hope to learn from the work experience. ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do.

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Dear Mr. Smith.

I am wing this letter to inquire some information about

the place where I should go and work.

Firstly. I really appreciate you because you provided me an opportunity to work. I had been looking for a long time and it bothered that is why I am glad to receive a chance to begin my experiences.

I desire to learn methods to use technology. My previous job designer and I have no knowledge of technology. Nowadays, it is dramatically developing, so I am considering that I should study to follow current era.

However, I have no ideas where I need to go. I found out that new employees have to head for branches of your company in the document, but it is not clear which branches to visit. Moreover, I am not sure what should I bring on the first day. I would appreciate if you respond me.

Thank you for your time and I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerelly,

Kokoa Fujimura

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

should: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements, thanking the manager, explaining learning goals, and asking questions. However, there are some minor lapses in clarity and language control. To improve, focus on using more precise language and ensuring a consistently formal tone throughout the letter. Also, proofread carefully to eliminate grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more explicit transitions between your points to guide the reader. For example, when transitioning from thanking the manager to explaining what you hope to learn, a phrase like "In addition to my gratitude..." could be helpful. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are opportunities to use more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of saying "I desire to learn methods to use technology," you could say "I am eager to develop my skills in utilizing various technologies." Expanding your range of vocabulary will make your writing more engaging and effective.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, "I am wing this letter" should be "I am writing this letter," and "it bothered" is unclear and should be rephrased. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency, correct article usage (a/an/the), and sentence structure. Reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully can help improve accuracy.

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