Letter

Band 4+: You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organization. Write a letter to the manager of the organization where you are going to do work experience. In your letter thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience. explain what you hope to learn from the work experience. ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to the manager thank the manager for the opportunities that has given to me.

I learn a lot from the company that i have experience in this organisation. And i need to learn more and experience more form other people or organisation to challege more in this company and I am willing to learn more and adopt another knowledge form the company.

How ever can we can give a short or seminar to our company so that they can learn a lot or experience other knowledge in this company and also meeting a new people so that they can easily connect to other company and easily comunicate also having a seminar is also good idea in the company because there are experience and have opportunity to take more knowledge and experience in the company also is better.

Kind Regards.

Joanne C. Nacino

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

company: 7

experience: 5

learn: 4

other: 3

knowledge: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter attempts to address the task but contains significant issues. The purpose of the letter is not entirely clear, and the content is somewhat repetitive and lacks specific details. The questions asked are vague and not directly related to the work experience. To improve, focus on clearly stating the purpose of the letter, providing specific examples, and asking direct, relevant questions about the work experience.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's coherence is significantly impacted by repetitive phrasing and a lack of clear transitions between ideas. The paragraphing does not effectively separate distinct points, leading to a somewhat muddled presentation. To improve coherence, focus on developing each point with clear, logical connections and using varied sentence structures. Consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through your letter. For example, use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition to,' or 'Therefore' to link your ideas more effectively. Also, ensure each paragraph addresses a single, focused topic.

Lexical Resource

The lexical resource is limited, with noticeable repetition of words and phrases such as 'learn,' 'experience,' and 'company.' This repetition makes the letter sound less sophisticated and can obscure the intended meaning. To enhance your lexical resource, try to use synonyms and a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'learn,' consider alternatives like 'acquire,' 'gain,' or 'develop.' Similarly, vary your descriptions of 'experience' with words like 'exposure,' 'involvement,' or 'participation.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The grammatical range and accuracy are limited, with frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and article usage. For example, the opening sentence contains an error in verb agreement ('opportunities that has given'). There are also issues with sentence construction, making some sentences difficult to understand. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammatical structures and verb tenses. Practice constructing simple and compound sentences correctly before attempting more complex structures. Review the rules for article usage (a, an, the) and pay close attention to subject-verb agreement. Proofreading your work carefully can also help identify and correct errors.

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