Letter

Band 4+: You have applied for a scholarship to help fund your postgraduate studies. The scholarship committee has asked you to submit a letter of application. Write a letter to the committee. Include: your academic background and achievements, why you chose your specific field of study, how the scholarship would help you achieve your career goals.

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Dear Sir/ Madam,

It is a previlige to have the oppurtunity to apply for your estimate scholarship.

I’m Ameera Hasan. I’m 29 years old. I have bachelor in Telecommunication engineering in addition to CCNA international certification.

During my studies, I had the chance to have an internship in the main internet provider in Yemen, due to my excellence in my major. Moreover, I had more than 100 training certificates in almost all technological fields. After 4 years of graduation I realize that , I have missed an essential part of my eductional journy which is postgraduate studies. Furtheremore, I started to seek for a scholarship that will enrich my experience and help me to help you achieve your career goals. However, I didn’t find instituation better than yours, which have a high value of eduction and encourge hand-on experience. In addtion to that, it’s offer a great mixture of culture because of the differsity of the students who came from all around the world. I look forward for being part of your prestigious instituation.Your faithfully,

Ameera Hasan

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements but has notable omissions and inaccuracies. It mentions academic background and achievements, but the reason for choosing the field of study is not clearly explained, and the statement about how the scholarship would help achieve career goals is vague and incorrectly phrased ('help you achieve your career goals' instead of 'my career goals'). The tone is somewhat informal and contains several spelling and grammatical errors that affect clarity. To improve, ensure all three bullet points are fully and clearly addressed, provide specific details about your academic achievements and career aspirations, and proofread for accuracy and professionalism.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but the flow is disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear connections between ideas. For example, the shift from discussing your academic background to your motivation for postgraduate studies and then to the choice of institution feels disjointed. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each paragraph has a single main idea. Additionally, use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'However') more accurately to link ideas smoothly. The final sentence 'I look forward for being part of your prestigious instituation' is a good closing, but it should be connected more logically to the preceding content.

Lexical Resource

The letter uses some appropriate vocabulary related to academic and professional contexts (e.g., 'internship', 'certification', 'postgraduate studies'), but there are frequent spelling errors and awkward word choices that detract from clarity. For example, 'previlige' should be 'privilege', 'oppurtunity' should be 'opportunity', 'estimate' should be 'esteemed', 'eductional journy' should be 'educational journey', 'instituation' should be 'institution', 'encourge' should be 'encourage', 'differsity' should be 'diversity'. To improve, proofread carefully and expand your range of vocabulary to include more precise and formal terms. For instance, instead of 'I have bachelor', use 'I hold a Bachelor's degree'. Also, avoid informal phrases like 'I'm' in formal letters; use 'I am'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and accuracy. Examples include: 'I have bachelor' should be 'I have a bachelor's degree'; 'After 4 years of graduation I realize that , I have missed' should be 'After four years since graduation, I realized that I had missed'; 'help you achieve your career goals' should be 'help me achieve my career goals'; 'it's offer' should be 'it offers'; 'Your faithfully' should be 'Yours faithfully'. There are also punctuation issues, such as unnecessary commas and missing articles. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of tenses, and proper punctuation. Practice writing sentences with a variety of structures, such as complex sentences, to demonstrate greater grammatical range.

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