Letter

Band 4+: You recently attended a workshop that was organized by a local community center, but due to unforeseen circumstances, you had to leave early and missed a significant portion of it. Write a letter to the community center apologizing for your early departure. You should include details about: - why you had to leave unexpectedly - what part of the workshop you missed - how you plan to catch up on the missed information.

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Dear Sir,

I am writing you to know that i could not attend your workshop completely beacause of some unforeseen circumstances. I feel regret about the opportunity that i have lost.

The reason is that while attending workshop i picked phone call of my younger brother and he said that my mother was faint because of high blood pressure, so i left workshop and took my mother to hospital in emergency. It was stressful period for me. Therefore, i missed my workshop that is highly beneficial for me and for my bright future.

The instructor provided awareness about the parts of car, furthermore he was going to tell about how we can repair the parts of car engine but i missed that crucial instructions. However, i was extremely taking interested about that workshop but unfortunetly i could not avail this properly.

I am requesting you to kindly assist me in that concern. kindly provide me a instructor that can assess me a online rest of my workshop class. i will be very thankful to you.

I look forward to hearing your response.

yours faithfully

farah

Word Count: 185

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

workshop: 6

about: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all the requirements of the task, explaining the reason for the early departure, what was missed, and a suggestion for compensation. There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, but overall the letter is clear and understandable. To improve, focus on using more natural and varied language and proofread carefully for errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more effective transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader. For example, when transitioning from explaining the emergency to discussing what you missed, a clearer link would enhance coherence. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes inaccurate ('taking interested'). Expanding your range of vocabulary and ensuring correct usage would enhance the letter. For instance, instead of 'highly beneficial,' consider 'invaluable' or 'extremely useful.' Also, be careful about word choice to ensure it fits the context accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tenses, missing articles, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'I am writing you to know' should be 'I am writing to inform you.' Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy to improve the overall quality of your writing. Proofreading carefully for errors before submission is crucial.

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