Letter

Band 5+: Your local council is considering closing a sports and leisure centre that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter: Give details of how you and your friends or family use the centre Explain why the sports and leisure centre is important for the local community Describe the possible effects on local people if the center closes.

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Dear Sir,

I am writing this letter to request you to give a second thought on closing a sports and leisure centre, located on Huronia Road, that you run.

The centre has become an important meeting place for me, and my friends. Because of our busy schedules were are not able to meet each other regularly. However, we share the same interest in playing games offered by the centre, which allows us to meet and spend some time together. We enjoy playing

Moreover, apart from my personal interests, the centre holds the importance to the local community as well. Many elder people visits the play to enjoy the spa facilities provided in the centre. In addition, the events held for children of all age attracts many participants and allows them to play and learn different sports like football, basketball, baseball and many more.

Because of the lack of budget, if the centre closes, it will adversely affect on locals. There will be no space for children and adults to play or spend time with their loved ones, for elders to relax in the garden.

I hope that you will look into this matter.

Yours faithfully, Dhwani Trivedi

Word Count: 197

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

centre: 6

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all three prompts required by the task. However, the development of these points is somewhat thin, and there is an incomplete sentence in the second paragraph ('We enjoy playing') which disrupts the flow and prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that every sentence is completed and that each point is expanded with more specific detail. For example, when describing the effects of the closure, you could elaborate on the potential health implications for the elderly or the social isolation that might occur among young people. Strengthening the depth of your explanations will help satisfy the requirements more fully.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter follows a logical structure, addressing all three prompts in separate paragraphs. However, there are some issues with sentence connectivity. For example, the sentence 'We enjoy playing' is left unfinished, which disrupts the flow. Additionally, some transitions between ideas could be smoother to ensure the reader can follow the argument effortlessly. Ensure every sentence is complete and contributes to the overall progression of the letter.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, such as 'adversely affect' and 'important meeting place.' However, there is some repetition and a lack of sophisticated word choices. For instance, 'elder people' should be 'elderly people' or 'the elderly,' and 'holds the importance' is slightly unnatural; 'is of great importance' would be better. Try to incorporate more varied synonyms to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that impact the professional tone of the letter. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Many elder people visits'), incorrect preposition usage ('affect on locals' should be 'affect locals'), and punctuation errors (unnecessary commas after 'me'). There is also a fragment/incomplete sentence ('We enjoy playing'). To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and ensuring that all complex sentences are grammatically complete.

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