Cause And Solution

Band 5+: As international tourism grows, many historically significant but fragile sites, such as ancient cave paintings and coral reefs, are being damaged by the sheer volume of visitors. What are the main causes of this damage, and what steps can be taken to protect these sites while still allowing public enjoyment?

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International tourism is growing, most historically significant but fragile sites, like ancient cave paintings and coral reefs, are being destroyed by the numerous number of tourists. This is happening due to the several reasons which includes uneducated tourists and lack of rules and regulations in tourist site. Some crucial steps can be taken to stop these unethical activities.

Firstly, tourism is playing a key role in the lives of people nowadays. Tourists explore different areas of the world to make memories and also it reduces stress and anxiety of those tourists. Nowadays uneducated tourists are destroying some ancient and unique cave paintings and coral reefs. Those individuals who have no ethics and moral values are destroying these precious and ancient things which we get from our forefathers and ancestors. Having no rules and regulations on the tourists sites is the main cause of this illegal act which is being done by some tourists. For instance, if the management of the tourist site is not preforming it’s job properly then they get a chance a chance to destroy these historical things.

Secondly, we find these historical sites due to the hard work of archaeologists. Moreover it should be preserved into its original form and some crucial steps has to be taken to save it from those people who are damaging these historical things. Imposing high penalties and fines can play a vital role in saving these cave paintings and coral reefs. Therefore making strict polices and implementing crucial rules and regulations can also become key factor in saving these historical assets of the nations. For example, if any person commit this act by damaging any painting, so management should take strict actions against him by imposing high penalties.

From my perspective, it is possible to preserve and save these historical assets which is being destroyed by some tourists. Making strict polices and implementing those policies with proper rules and regulations can lead to a better future where we can save these historical cave paintings and coral reefs.

Word Count: 336

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

these: 9

tourists: 8

historical: 6

paintings: 4

coral: 4

reefs: 4

which: 4

rules: 4

regulations: 4

those: 4

sites: 3

ancient: 3

being: 3

crucial: 3

strict: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, identifying causes (uneducated tourists, lack of rules) and suggesting steps (penalties, strict policies). A position is presented, and ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited and lacks precision. The causes are not fully explored (e.g., lack of awareness, inadequate management, physical impact of footfall), and the solutions are not elaborated with specific examples or practical implementation. The essay also contains some repetition and minor grammatical issues. To improve, provide more detailed explanations and examples for each cause and solution, and ensure a clear, well-structured argument throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and repetitive phrasing. The first sentence of the introduction is a run-on that could be split for clarity. The body paragraphs present ideas but lack smooth linking between causes and solutions. Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'in addition', 'consequently', 'moreover') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic with supporting details. The conclusion is somewhat repetitive; try to summarize key points more concisely.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses some appropriate vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'fragile sites', 'cave paintings', 'coral reefs', 'penalties', 'regulations'). However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and repetition (e.g., 'destroying' used multiple times, 'crucial steps' repeated). Phrases like 'numerous number of tourists' are redundant; 'sheer volume of visitors' would be more precise. To improve, expand your range of synonyms and use more specific terms (e.g., 'deterioration', 'preservation', 'enforcement'). Avoid informal expressions like 'unethical activities' and aim for a more formal academic tone. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, the first sentence is a comma splice; it should be split into two sentences. There are subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'reasons which includes' should be 'reasons which include'), and incorrect use of articles (e.g., 'the tourists sites' should be 'tourist sites'). Also, 'it's job' should be 'its job', and 'polices' should be 'policies'. To improve, proofread carefully and practice using complex sentences with correct punctuation. Focus on consistent tense usage and ensure that singular/plural forms match throughout.

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