Opinion

Band 4+: Doctors should work in their own country, while others say that they should be free to work wherever they want.

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Some professionals,such as doctors and engineers suffering in their learning in their country, so they pay alot of money and efforts to complete their education.Therefore should work and complete their mission in their country to develop it and make it more successful to the other country.Also the parents have a role in helping their children to stay at their homeland and love it ,then contribute everything they can toward making the country strong and develop.

On the other hand, the professionals they should go ount their homeland especially in lebanon to achieve their goals and dreams,Because in their home countries, there is absolutely nothing to help them stay – university tuition is very high, the education system is extremely difficult, and, furthermore, their skills are not valued so they prefer to go to other countries to achieve their dreams and become a teacher ,doctor or engineer.

In conclusion I believe that our professionals should stay and support their homeland to becomes a perfect and strong country facing the difficulties, yet remains brilliant thanks to these minds that will transform it into a developed successful and progressive nation.

Word Count: 187

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 13

country: 4

should: 3

other: 3

homeland: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument: whether doctors should work in their own country or be free to work elsewhere. A clear position is presented in the conclusion, favoring that professionals should stay and support their homeland. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. For example, the first paragraph introduces the idea of parents' role, which is not fully explored or clearly linked to the main argument. The second paragraph provides reasons for leaving, but the examples are general and not well-supported. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with specific examples or evidence, and maintain a consistent focus on the prompt throughout. Additionally, work on clarity and coherence to make the argument more persuasive and logically structured. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear argument with an introduction, a counter-argument, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear referencing. For example, the first sentence is long and confusing, and the shift from the first paragraph to the second is not smooth. The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences are not well-connected. To improve, use clearer topic sentences, logical connectors (e.g., 'However', 'Furthermore', 'In contrast'), and ensure each paragraph has a single clear focus.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'professionals', 'homeland', 'achieve their goals', and 'developed successful and progressive nation'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'suffering in their learning', 'pay alot of money', 'go ount their homeland', and 'toward making the country strong and develop'. The word 'alot' should be 'a lot', and 'develop' should be 'developed'. To improve, use more precise and natural collocations, and proofread for spelling and word choice errors.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as missing subjects, incorrect verb forms, and punctuation issues. For example, 'Some professionals,such as doctors and engineers suffering in their learning' should be 'Some professionals, such as doctors and engineers, suffer during their training'. Also, 'the professionals they should go ount their homeland' should be 'professionals should leave their homeland'. The conclusion has a run-on sentence. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and sentence boundaries. Proofreading can help eliminate these errors.

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Band 4+: Doctors should work in their own country, while others say that they should be free to work wherever they want.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Other Topics:

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government, while others think that people should be responsible for their own health.

Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree.

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Some People think that it is better to build more public parks and sport facilities in New towns rather than shopping mall. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think that studying online is better than studying in person. Do you agree or disagree?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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