Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 6+: In many countries, family members work together in their family business. Do you think family businesses have more advantages than disadvantages?

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In most nations, family members run their own business and they work together to succeed their goal. Even though, this trend has few demerits I think that, the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages. This essay will explore some reasons behind this.

To begin with, there are several merits of running a family business. Firstly, when the people who belongs to the same family work as a team, it creates trust among them. Therefore, the out come will be more. Furthermore, there will be more individuals to share the workload. Consequently, the income or the savings will remain within the family. To illustrate, one of my friends have a shared shop with his brothers. There is no employees from outside the family. So, they will share all the responsibility among them and if one person unable to work, then the other will cover him. Now they have good earnings and they live a happy life.

However, this has some demerits. When many family member work in a group there will be disagreements within the business partners. This may lead to a family conflict and ruin the family relationships. For example, when two brothers runs business together there will be different opinions regarding many aspects like money, work responsibilities etc. This can cause some arguments between the individuals and this can damage the connection between the whole family.

In conclusion, while the family owned business has some negatives I strongly believe that, the people have significant benefits like trust among them and earnings can stay inside the family.

Word Count: 257

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

family: 10

business: 5

there: 5

among: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position that advantages outweigh disadvantages. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, but the development is somewhat limited and lacks depth. The introduction is brief and could be more fully developed. The conclusion is short and does not fully synthesize the arguments. To improve, expand on the points with more detailed explanation and consider addressing the prompt more comprehensively by discussing both sides in a balanced way before stating your position. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the examples are more fully integrated into the argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. For example, the introduction could more smoothly lead into the body paragraphs, and the conclusion could better summarize the main points. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'On the other hand') to improve the logical connection between ideas. Also, ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the progression of arguments is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'succeed their goal' should be 'achieve their goal', 'out come' should be 'outcome', 'there is no employees' should be 'there are no employees'). To improve, expand your vocabulary to include more precise and natural expressions, such as 'collaborate', 'shared responsibility', 'financial gains', and 'interpersonal conflicts'. Avoid repetition and aim for more sophisticated word choices to demonstrate greater lexical control. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For instance, subject-verb agreement issues ('one of my friends have' should be 'one of my friends has'), incorrect use of articles ('a shared shop' should be 'a shared shop' is fine, but 'the out come' should be 'the outcome'), and punctuation errors (e.g., missing commas after introductory phrases). To improve, review grammar rules for subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence punctuation. Also, vary your sentence structures more to show flexibility, and ensure that each sentence is grammatically complete and accurate.

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