Opinion

Band 4+: In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in summer holidays. What is the value of long holidays? What are the arguments in favor of shorter school holidays.

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There are primary and secondary schools which close for two months or more in the summer holidays in many countries. In this way, students can do many important actions during the time of summer. Meanwhile, if the school holidays will shorter, we will be able to focusing in subjects better.

First of all, much leisure time can lead to forgotting many informations from school sylabus. For instance, formulas of math, dates of history and scientific facts. Moreover, physical activities of children will be able to less than at school. It’s worth nothing that when we studied online during COVID-19, we couldn’t focus on studiy. After which forgot everything. Thus, it is the value of long school holidays.

On the other hand, I would like to mention aboutthe some arguments in favour of shorter school holidays. There are many advantages of free time in summer. Justification for this statement; we can spend our time to improve any skills, such as knowledges, languages, swimming and so on. In this way, we will not forget nothing. In addition, today schools cannot give really good knowledge as other courses. In summer holidays we can improve our knowledge, physical activity and circle of people and knowledge.

In conclusion, there are many advantages and disadvantages of long and short summer holidays.

Word Count: 215

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

summer: 5

holidays: 5

school: 5

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position, but the ideas lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the arguments for both sides of the issue. Also, ensure a clearer structure with well-defined paragraphs and transitions. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat unclear, and the transitions between ideas are not always smooth. The introduction and conclusion are quite basic and lack depth. To improve coherence, consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single, clear idea, and the connection between these ideas should be evident to the reader. Also, the essay could benefit from a more developed introduction that clearly states the essay's purpose and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and offers a final thought.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite basic and repetitive, which limits the essay's ability to express complex ideas effectively. There is a lack of precision in word choice, and some words are used inappropriately. To improve lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary, including synonyms and more specific terms. Pay attention to the nuances of word meanings and use a dictionary or thesaurus to find more appropriate words. Also, try to incorporate more idiomatic expressions and collocations to make your writing sound more natural. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors frequently impede understanding and detract from the essay's overall quality. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your confidence grows. Review grammar rules regularly and seek feedback from a teacher or tutor to identify and correct errors.

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