Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: International travel has become much easier and cheaper than in the past. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Nowadays, many people travel by plane. You know, traveling is the most popular kind of relax. Not only for busy people but also for the young community, it’s necessary. Besides, when we travel, It’s essential to get many various impressions, spend time with friends and family, and meet interesting people.

Firstly, there is cheap air travel in Europe and the USA. It is essential to speak about it because I have lived there. For example, you can spend a little bit of money on one air trip, like twenty-five dollars per ticket. We often fly like this from Poland to France. So it’s a great opportunity for all people. Actually, you can see around the world and see amazing countries and cities. Indeed, person travel by car or train. Moreover, If you chose plane, it’s important to faster road to the end travel.

Sometimes, we have a problem with chip air travel. It’s obligatory to plan your vacations, buy tickets, rent a car and apartments, and after that, the airline can be closed before your trip or at that time. There are different airlines, and they have negative financial solutions. I am convinced that such problems happen, and planes have crashed, and people have died. As a matter of fact, the company doesn’t have equipment, pay rent, or pay employees.

Normally, for all people, there can be a problem with it. I think it’s a big problem for all countries and companies. Finally, I believe that the world can achieve more in flying and travel, and people can travel safely.

Word Count: 260

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

travel: 7

people: 6

there: 4

problem: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of cheap air travel, but the development is limited and lacks clarity. The position is somewhat discernible but not clearly stated or consistently maintained. The main ideas are relevant but not sufficiently extended or supported with specific examples or logical reasoning. There is some repetition and the essay lacks a clear structure. To improve, focus on clearly stating your position in the introduction, develop each point with more detail and examples, and ensure a logical flow between paragraphs. Also, avoid informal language and grammatical errors that affect clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the progression of ideas is sometimes difficult to follow. The introduction presents general statements without a clear thesis, and the body paragraphs mix advantages and disadvantages without clear topic sentences. The conclusion is abrupt and does not summarize the main points effectively. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and provide a more logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some informal and imprecise expressions (e.g., 'You know', 'a little bit of money', 'chip air travel' instead of 'cheap air travel'). There are also some awkward phrasings (e.g., 'it's important to faster road to the end travel'). To improve, use a wider range of formal and precise vocabulary, avoid informal language, and ensure word choices are accurate and appropriate for an academic essay. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('person travel'), incorrect word forms ('faster road'), and missing articles or prepositions. There are also run-on sentences and comma splices. To improve, focus on using a wider range of complex structures accurately, proofread for common errors, and ensure punctuation is used correctly throughout.

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