Cause And Solution

Band 6+: Many people in large cities spend a long time travelling to and from work. What are the main causes of this problem, and what measures could be taken to address it?

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In many cities, traffic congestion has become a notable issue, resulting in individuals having to spend several hours travelling to their workplace. This essay will discuss the key reasons for this problem and the possible measures that authorities can implement to dissolve it.

Individuals travelling in their private vehicles are one of the reasons behind the increasing traffic congestion. People tend to choose their own vehicles and motor-bikes to commute for their daily travel. This increased number of private vehicles causes traffic issues at squares. Another reason is potholes on the highways. Due to the potholes, people have to drive slower and this results in traffic jams. To tackle this issue, government should invest in repairing potholes on highways, as this helps people to drive faster without any hindrance. This results in traffic congestion in a particular highway.

Furthermore, potholes and maintenance of highways should be given priorities by the responsible authorities. When roads are well-maintained and without any potholes, people could travel more effectively, speedily and safely. This could reduce numerous vehicles being slow and following one after another.

Moreover, road ministry should construct more by-pass roads to reduce the heavy vehicles being travelled within the city centre. This could decrease the road volume on busy highways within the city. However, these commercial vehicles will no longer surpass the city highways and help in solving congestion.

In conclusion, private vehicles and potholes are a significant reason for this problem. State can construct more overbridges, keep regular highway maintenance and should focus on more by-pass routes for heavy vehicles.

Word Count: 259

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

vehicles: 8

potholes: 6

traffic: 5

highways: 5

their: 4

people: 4

should: 4

congestion: 3

private: 3

could: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by identifying causes (private vehicles, potholes) and measures (road repair, by-pass roads). A position is presented, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited and lacks clarity in places. For example, the link between potholes and congestion is not fully explained, and the suggestion about by-pass roads could be more detailed. To improve, ensure each cause is clearly explained with specific examples or evidence, and each measure is logically connected to the cause it addresses. Also, avoid repetition and aim for more precise language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'This results in traffic congestion in a particular highway' at the end of the second paragraph is confusing and seems to contradict the intended meaning. Additionally, the third paragraph repeats the point about potholes without adding new information, which affects the overall coherence. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use cohesive devices more effectively to link sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'traffic congestion', 'private vehicles', 'potholes', and 'by-pass roads'. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'dissolve it' instead of 'solve it', 'at squares' instead of 'at intersections', and 'road volume' which is not a standard term. The word 'surpass' is used incorrectly in the context of 'no longer surpass the city highways'. To improve, focus on using precise and natural collocations, and avoid direct translation from the native language. Also, vary the vocabulary to avoid repetition, such as using 'authorities' instead of 'government' repeatedly. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, including complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, 'Individuals travelling in their private vehicles are one of the reasons' should be 'The use of private vehicles is one of the reasons'. Also, 'government should invest' should be 'governments should invest' (subject-verb agreement). The sentence 'This results in traffic congestion in a particular highway' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'This results in traffic congestion on a particular highway'. Additionally, there are missing articles and incorrect prepositions throughout. To improve, review grammar rules for subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions, and proofread the essay to correct these errors.

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