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Band 7+: Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In this modern world, many individuals think that success can be achieved through their jobs or studies. Success may be different things to different people. For many it may mean being wealthy and earning a high-income, while others consider success as strong bonds in relationships. Personally for me, success is having a balanced life and having freedom in my own life.

Different people have different ideas about what success means. For some people, success can be having a good career and earning a high salary. This is because financial independence can give them a comfortable life and a sense of achievement. For example, a person who works in well paid job in a company may consider himself or herself successful. Others, however, consider success as good terms in personal relationships. For instance, having a happy family and strong relationship bonds may be important than earning a good income.

In my view, success is not only about money or career achievements. For me, success means having freedom and maintaining a balance between my job and personal life. Being the person I am trying to be is the another view of success for me. For example, having a stable job, maintaining a healthy balance between career and personal life, and being independent are important goals to me. I also believe that having freedom to travel the world is part of success for me.

In conclusion, success can mean differently to people, while some people see it through their careers or financial achievements, I believe that success means having a independent and balanced life.

Word Count: 261

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

success: 13

having: 8

people: 5

different: 3

being: 3

earning: 3

consider: 3

freedom: 3

means: 3

career: 3

personal: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt, discussing different meanings of success and presenting a personal view. The position is clear and supported with relevant examples. However, the development of ideas could be more precise and detailed. For instance, the concept of 'freedom' and 'balance' could be elaborated further. Additionally, there are minor grammatical and lexical issues, such as 'the another view' and 'having a independent', which slightly affect clarity. To improve, aim for more precise language and deeper exploration of the ideas.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas flow smoothly, and the use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'For some people', 'Others, however', 'In my view') helps guide the reader. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt shift in the second paragraph from discussing career success to personal relationships without a clear linking phrase. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effectively tied back to the introduction. Overall, the paragraphing is well managed, but a few transitions could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some precise and appropriate choices (e.g., 'financial independence', 'sense of achievement', 'maintaining a balance'). There is evidence of flexibility in expression, and the language is generally natural. However, there are a few instances of less sophisticated phrasing (e.g., 'good terms in personal relationships', 'being the person I am trying to be') and some repetition (e.g., 'success' is used frequently). To improve, consider using more varied and nuanced vocabulary, such as 'fulfillment', 'prosperity', or 'self-actualization', and avoid repetitive structures. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures with generally good control. There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'may be important than' (should be 'more important than'), 'the another view' (should be 'another view'), 'success can mean differently' (should be 'success can mean different things'), and 'a independent' (should be 'an independent'). These errors are infrequent and do not impede understanding, but they prevent the essay from achieving a higher band. To improve, pay attention to article usage, comparative forms, and word choice. Overall, the grammar is accurate enough to convey the message clearly.

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