Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 4+: Nowadays family are not as close as in the past and lots of people have become used to this . Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks

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In this modern era people are extremely busy with there daily tasks. As a result distance among family members has become more common compered to the past. There are various reasons behind this trend amongest them think. Changes in lifestyles and modern techology is much responsibile lfor this and its more advantages then drawbacks.

On the one hand, In recent time people prefer to living alone. When people living alone, They suffer different types of mental pressure . They could feel alone. They do not share to their daily activities with others people. Many people can suffer depression because they are living alone.Living far away family correlation contributes to adverse disadvantages. First of all members might feel isloted in their house while young home with their parants. As a result they can get loneliness boredom and exhaustion which have an impact on extensively.

However, living alone has lots of advantages. Nowadays, people prefer to living alone. People extreamly busy with their daily life. Families are not as in the past,Because of modern technology, better life ,better job, Better employed. For small families. It has great development. People can independence ,people can time management, people could lead better life. It has great advantages.In addition to this many people they can also helps community and government tasks. It would be good for a nation. Many individuals they could passing free time with there family. It can creat family bonding stronger.

In conclusion, families are not as close as in the past,Because of modern technology. People busy to their daily life tasks. I think it would great advantages for people. They can confidence for their eveevery situation.

Word Count: 274

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 13

their: 6

living: 5

alone: 5

modern: 4

daily: 4

family: 4

better: 4

there: 3

tasks: 3

advantages: 3

could: 3

families: 3

great: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by presenting a position on whether the advantages of families not being as close outweigh the drawbacks. However, the development of ideas is not always clear, and some points are repetitive. To improve, focus on developing each idea more fully with specific examples and explanations. Ensure that your arguments are logically structured and easy to follow. Also, work on improving the clarity and precision of your language.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. Paragraphing is inconsistent, and the connections between ideas are often unclear. The essay would benefit from a more structured approach, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point and using clear transitions to link ideas together. Consider using topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph and ensure that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent repetition of words and phrases. The use of vocabulary is often inaccurate or inappropriate for the context. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using a wider range of synonyms and related terms. Pay attention to the correct usage of words and phrases, and avoid using words that you are not completely familiar with. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. These errors significantly impede understanding. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review grammar concepts regularly and seek feedback on your writing to identify and correct errors.

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