Discussion

Band 7+: Some people believe that technological advances have a positive impact on society, while others argue that they pose a serious threat to human employment and privacy. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Today technological advances have a profound impact on our lives. Some individuals argue that it has a positive impact on society. Although, others claim that it will replace human labor. I believe that this trend yields substantial benefits rather than negative consequences.

On the one hand, proponents of technological progress argue that it brings substantial economic growth and stability. A lot of factories and companies will achieve great finances. For instance, if any employee is ill, tired or has serious problems in life, robots will replace their labor. They can work 24/7 without procrastinating. For instance, 100 employees make 50 toys during the day, whereas 30 robots can make 100 toys within 24 hours. Second of all, technologies provide seamless access to make money in an easy way. For example, teenagers from Kazakhstan who study at schools, just posting videos on social media gives them fortune. Moreover, they can sit at home and build a largebusiness, using just a phone and one free room to gain products and then sell.

On the other hand, it must be taken into consideration that a significant portion of people will lose their jobs. Nowadays, it is clear that manual workers lose their jobs because of technology improvement. Perhaps they have only one job in their life and suddenly robots replace human labor, after that they face unemployment. It is challenging to take care of your wife and children. Second of all, addit to technologies leads to severe consequences. American scientists made research in 2025 and it shows that people who spend too much time using technology cannot easily communicate with others. Moreover, t causes a sedentary lifestyle. For instance, conditions such as scoliosis, definitely show that people need to spend less time with technology.

In conclusion, technology plays a crucial role in our lives and it is our choice how we will use technology. One type of people try to find all benefits, like creating a job and so on, while others spend too much time there. From my perspective the advantages of technological advances outweigh the disadvantages.

Word Count: 345

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 4

people: 4

technology: 4

technological: 3

others: 3

replace: 3

labor: 3

instance: 3

robots: 3

spend: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views and presents a clear position, which is a solid foundation. However, the discussion of the positive impacts focuses heavily on economic benefits and job creation, while the negative impacts are limited to job loss and health issues, with privacy not mentioned at all. This is a significant omission given the prompt. The ideas are relevant but lack depth and precision, and some examples are underdeveloped or unclear. To improve, ensure all parts of the prompt are covered, develop ideas with clearer reasoning and specific examples, and maintain a consistent focus on the key issues.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphing and a logical progression of ideas. The introduction presents the topic and the writer's opinion, and the body paragraphs discuss both views with examples. However, there are some minor issues: the use of 'Although' at the beginning of a sentence is incorrect (it should be 'However' or 'On the other hand'), and the transition between some ideas could be smoother. Additionally, the conclusion could more explicitly restate the writer's opinion. To improve, ensure that cohesive devices are used accurately and that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary, including some less common words and phrases (e.g., 'profound impact', 'seamless access', 'procrastinating'). However, there are occasional inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'addit to technologies' (likely meant 'addiction to technology'), 'largebusiness' (should be 'large business'), and 't causes' (should be 'it causes'). These errors slightly hinder clarity. To achieve a higher score, focus on using vocabulary with more precision and naturalness, and proofread to eliminate such mistakes. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few errors: 'Although' used as a conjunction at the start of a sentence, missing articles (e.g., 'a large business'), and punctuation issues (e.g., comma splice in 'For instance, 100 employees make 50 toys during the day, whereas 30 robots can make 100 toys within 24 hours.'). These errors are minor and do not impede understanding. To improve, pay closer attention to article usage and sentence punctuation, and ensure that conjunctions are used correctly.

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