Opinion

Band 4+: some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) Are you agree or disagree?

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There is meaning that unpaid community working should be necessary in high school, examples of this work are teaching sports to kids , working for a charity and district’s developing. My point of view based on agreement with this statement, because it can develop person’s own lifeskills for portfolio for degree and work in society. Also it a heavy moral contribution which helps for people getting help.

Firstly, people can not receive all important skills which they will need in classrooms inspite of school’s quality, therefore unpaid public aid or work could train important skills which must need in life or career. So, the more activities the better for your inventory of helpfull actions. Also it can play a significant role in your admission to universities, because many countries note your activities.

The second agreement is that someone does important deal, after that activities surrounding people give respect for you, because moral values also necessary as material values. So these deals do not take lots of time, but improve your life’s level.

So, work could be essential without paying, because the main idea is giving benefits for society. In a result, this essay described positive meaning about this statement with explaining about importance of these actions.

Word Count: 206

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

because: 4

which: 3

people: 3

important: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by stating agreement with compulsory unpaid community service in high school. A clear position is presented, and some relevant ideas are provided, such as skill development and moral contribution. However, the supporting ideas lack clarity and precision, with issues in grammar, vocabulary, and sentence structure that affect the overall coherence and development. To improve, focus on using clearer language, structuring paragraphs with a clear topic sentence and supporting examples, and proofreading for grammatical errors. Additionally, ensure that each point is fully explained and logically connected to the main argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. For example, the transition from the introduction to the first body paragraph could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate (e.g., 'Firstly', 'The second agreement'). To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'Consequently') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically.

Lexical Resource

The essay attempts to use some topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'community service', 'portfolio', 'moral contribution'), but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'meaning that unpaid community working', 'district's developing', 'helpfull actions'). The range of vocabulary is limited, and some expressions are repetitive. To improve, expand your vocabulary by reading more academic texts and practice using words in the correct context. Focus on learning common collocations (e.g., 'compulsory community service', 'gain valuable skills', 'make a positive contribution').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and understanding. These include subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'There is meaning that...'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'working should be necessary'), missing articles (e.g., 'a heavy moral contribution'), and punctuation issues (e.g., missing commas, incorrect use of apostrophes). Sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, review basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practice writing a variety of sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences, and proofread your work carefully.

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