Positive And Negative

Band 4+: some people dress by fashion trends. it is negative development or positive development

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Nowadays, many people dress by fashion trends. This essay will examine why it is taking the place of more traditional pastimes and argue that, despite a few potential benefits, this is predominantly a negative development.

It is negative development because everybody on society should have their own style. And it is influencing on people’s life as good as bad. To explain this topic i would say that this way more people lose expressing themselves as an individual, cause everybody in city will be in the same clothes.

For example in China 76% of citizens are chasing trends and want to be fashionable, but it is more like being at the party where everybody should keep the dress-code and where you can not distinguish a certain person.

There are several key reasons why people are dressing by fashion trends, and one of them it is because more people idealizing and want to be like their favorite idol. Following that many advertisers of famous brands like channel, nike, adidas use take advantage of the popularity of celebrities and make them the face of their brand. But it is just marketing. This is causing trends in apps such as: tik tok, Instagram and et cetera. And for this cause many people dress by fashion trends.

In conclusion at present many people on society dress by global fashion trends and it is a negative development, because there is no point in chasing trends.

Word Count: 239

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

trends: 6

fashion: 4

dress: 3

negative: 3

because: 3

everybody: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the potential benefits of following fashion trends before arguing against them. Also, ensure a clearer connection between the reasons for following trends and the negative impact. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat discernible, but the progression of ideas is not always logical or clear. Paragraphing is attempted, but the connections between paragraphs are weak. The introduction and conclusion are present but lack sophistication. To improve coherence, focus on creating clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs, ensuring each paragraph has a central idea that is well-supported. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some inaccuracies in word choice and usage. There is some attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, but this is not always successful. To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary and using it accurately and appropriately. Pay attention to collocations and idiomatic expressions to enhance the naturalness of your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that impede understanding. Sentence structures are often simple and repetitive, and there are issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammatical structures and then gradually incorporating more complex sentence structures. Proofread carefully for errors and consider seeking feedback from a language tutor or native speaker.

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